Guy: Did you hear that Sam broke up with Angie?
Girl: Good for him! [Guy stares at her in disbelief.] Uh… I mean… Oh, poor Angie!
–NYU dining hall
Guy: Did you hear that Sam broke up with Angie?
Girl: Good for him! [Guy stares at her in disbelief.] Uh… I mean… Oh, poor Angie!
–NYU dining hall
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: What did you do with her after dinner?
Guy #2: We went back to my place for game of “just the tip.”
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Aussieguy
Dude #1: I'm going to the Radio City Christmas show.
Dude #2: I'm reporting you to the guy association of America.
Dude #1: No, I really like it!
Dude #2: I am definitely reporting you!
–6th Ave & 35th St
Guy #1: Please sit down!
Girl: No, it’s okay.
Guy #1: No, I insist, please sit.
Girl: Really, I feel bad. I can’t take your seat.
Guy #1: Please sit.
Guy #2: Would you just shut the heck up and sit down already, God!
–R train
Overheard by: Margot Mainers
Black Santa takes off his beard, puts a cigarette in his mouth and starts to adjust his crotch.
Little girl in stroller: Daddy, why is Santa smoking?
Daddy: Well, obviously it’s a fake Santa…
Other passersby, scolding: Santa!
Black Santa: What? Santa’s gotta friggin’ fix himself sometimes, don’t he?
–Rockefeller Christmas tree
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Young Man #1: No, no no no!
Young Man #2: You’re wrong and they’re wrong.
Young Man #1: Naw, man, look-
Young Man #2: You are WRONG and they are WRONG.
Young Man #1: They can’t, it’s not like-
Young Man #2: A psychiatrist is a DOCTOR, man.
Young Man #1: So is a massage therapist!
–39th & 12th
Overheard by: Keri
Hipster guy: I had to live with some random guy that year in a room smaller than ours right now.
Hipster girl: Whoa.
Hipster guy: Yeah, he was weird. He was like some Chinese guy. But he wasn’t like really Chinese.
–L train
20-something chick: I still think the dog toy looks like a butt plug.
20-something guy: If there is such a thing.
20-something chick, with shocked face: Are you serious? Yes, there are butt plugs.
20-something guy: For what?
20-something chick: For people.
20-something guy: For *what*?
20-something chick: Nevermind.
20-something guy: No! Tell me! For *what*?
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Saaaandwich?
Drunk girl on cell: What? Did you just call me a bitch?
Drunk guy five rows behind her: She called you a bitch? Kick her ass!
Drunk girl on cell : That's like…psychologically impossible.
Businessman next to her: Physically.
Drunk girl on cell to business man: Did you just call me a bitch?
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ross
