Girl: If you were sleeping and your girlfriend woke you up in the middle of the night because she wants to…you know. Would you be upset?
Guy: Is it a school night?
–East Village
Girl: If you were sleeping and your girlfriend woke you up in the middle of the night because she wants to…you know. Would you be upset?
Guy: Is it a school night?
–East Village
NYU undergrad #1: Last night I heard her like just pee for the first time.
NYU undergrad #2: Yeah, the first time you hear a girl pee for the first time it freaks your shit out!
–Waverly & Washington Square North
Dude: Oh, man. You need Flash to check out this restaurant's website.
Chick: Does that mean it's really nice?
–Starbucks, W 53rd St
Girl: Why does the 10:15 movie have to be sold out?
Guy: Because a bunch of losers were in front of us.
Girl: Just like in high school.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!
–Varick &Vandam
Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!
–9th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: david hyman
Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.
–2nd & A
Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!
–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St
Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest
Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!
–Jamaica Ave and 150th St
Overheard by: Rodney-Rod
Guy in moose costume, sarcastically, on Halloween: Like people are really gonna remember a random-ass character from Sesame Street…
Guy in Yip Yip costume: So you'd rather be a fucking moose?
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: TR
Guy to friends: My goal in life is to get as many dicks in my ass as possible.
Random girl: Mine too!
–Canal St
Young guy, trying to allow older woman to get in line first: Ladies first.
Old woman: I'm not a lady.
Young guy: Oh.
–Office, 54th & 6th
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
Guy #1: Dude, your mom’s a Coen brother.
Guy #2: Wait… Fuck you, dude.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: harlembound
Bartender: Are you getting her anything for Valentine's Day?
20-something guy: Probably not.
Bartender: Nothing? Flowers? Anything?
20-something guy: What am I supposed to do? Send a note that says “thanks for fucking me”?
–57th St
