Girl on bus looking at a Six Flags sign: Why do they call it Six Flags?
Guy: Yo, bitch! Count the flags!
–Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Nicoletta
Guy #1: That wasn't a dude, though.
Guy #2: That wasn't a dude?
Guy #3: That was not a dude.
–A Train
Overheard by: rick
Guy: So the other night Taryn was over with her kid, and my ex-girlfriend came by and happened to see, and Taryn’s baby is really light-skinned, so now my ex-girlfriend thinks I have another kid that I didn’t tell her about.
Friend: Did you tell her it wasn’t yours?
Guy: Yeah. I already have two kids, I really don’t need another one. Why would I keep it from my mom and my dad and her anyway?
–L train
Overheard by: Mina
Black guy #1: Hey, man! How you doin? You got a dollar?
Black guy #2: No. I don't have no dollar for you!
Black guy #1: Come on, man. It's hot! Gimme' a dollar!
–Myrtle Ave b/w Carlton & Washington Park
Overheard by: Becky Z-Dub
Shrimpy guy, singing: Summertiiiiiime, and the livin' is easy…
Black guy: Man, the sons be actin' like daughters and the daughters be actin' like sons!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Porgy
Average Joe: Short people are insufferable!
Shorter friend: Tell me about it!
–Bleecker St & Carmine St
Overheard by: Lezbotron
Headline by: Jane
Runners-Up:
· “…And They Have Limited Vocabularies and Will Agree With Anything” – Bob
· “I Thought I Just Did.” – Katie
· “That Scene From “The Wizard Of Oz” Was Like Hell on Earth!” – space coyote
· “To Be Fair, He Did Reply in That High-Pitched Cackle” – Kenneth
· “Tom Cruise Is Refreshingly Self-Aware” – Meg
20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he's not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he's not gay.
–L Train
Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.
–NYC
Girl to guy friends: I mean, he's okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Angry woman on phone: While you're out having orgies I am doing the real work!
–Victorian Flatbush
Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?
–NYU
Guy #1, after telling something to friend: You should write that down.
Guy #2: On my arm?!
Guy #1: No, not on your arm, in a note.
Guy #2: I'm not gonna remember to check my note!
Guy #1: Then write on your arm, “check your note”!
–Q60 Bus
Driver: You couldn't just give me a warning, huh? This ticket make your quota for you?
Female cop: Why, yes, yes it does! Now I get a free toaster from the city paid with your fine there!
–Parsons & 79th, Queens
Overheard by: Fly on the Wall
Woman to friend: I have a theory: they just throw the horseshit over the wall.
–Central Park South
Overheard by: marijke
Jewish guy: You need to come down here at some point and feel how amazing this chair is. It gives great lumbar support. You will be jealous and then you will poop from jealousy… But you better not poop on my chair.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Woman on cell: Honey, but they were pooping all over the deck and hitting each other with shovels!
–West Village
NYU student to mother: You can't really get a good dinner in this town for under ten dollars…well, you can…but you'll just poop it out later.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
(mother notices toddler's soiled diaper, says something to him, and bends down to pick him up)
Toddler (in small, adorable voice): Waaaaiit, can I walk, so my poop doesn't get squashed?
–Bedford & 5th
20-something guy to friend: You need feces? I can provide!
–Broadway & 12th
Overheard by: elijah
