We Can Spot Fake Wednesday One-Liners a Mile Away

Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?

–Office Building, 32nd & 7th

Overheard by: erkala

Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!

–Toys R' Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.

–Canal Street

Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!

–Ave B

Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.

–West 4th Street

Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: sal b

Posted on March 26, 2020
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Death, Foreplay, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Height, Hobos, Men, Office, On Cell, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Rack, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires, Women

So Just Enjoy It

Guy #1: I can’t tell if I’m smelling your armpit or my fart.
Guy #2: Doesn’t matter. You couldn’t move away from it either way.

–Crowded 1 train

Overheard by: goo goo doll

Posted on March 25, 2020
Guys, On the Subway, Scents of the City

And I Said, “Is This a Rhetorical Question?”

Guy on cell: So he said, ‘If you imagine yourself as a hot dog, would you eat yourself?’

–Tribeca

Overheard by: brrrrrrrrrrrrrt

Posted on March 23, 2020
Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, On Cell, Psychology, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Just the Snake of Consumerism Swallowing Its Own Tail

Guy #1: Wow, The Hipster Handbook finally made it to the stoop sale.
Guy #2: I think we're witnessing the death of irony.

–Stoop Sale in Brooklyn

Posted on March 23, 2020
Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Default, Guys, Laughter, Store

Today, Wednesday One-Liner Is a Woman.

Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.

–Borough of Manhattan Community College

Overheard by: 447ght

Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!

–112th St & St. Nicholas

Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: allie

Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though…

–Barnard

Overheard by: Brooklyn

Posted on March 21, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Customers, Drugs, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Menstruation, On Cell, One-liners, Port Authority, Religion, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

NewsFlash: Art Student Slutty. Film at 11

Guy: Stop staring at me.
Girl: I'm not staring at you. What, I'm not allowed to look at you now?
Guy: Not like that. You have bedroom eyes.
Girl: Bedroom eyes? I don't have bedroom eyes. That's the way I normally look, you know that.
Guy: Yeah, because you're everyone's girl.
Girl: Shut up, no I'm not! Whatever, at least I get laid.

–Elevator, Pratt Institute

Overheard by: that girl

Posted on March 11, 2020
Body Parts, College, Girls, Guys, Sex

If the Light’s Purple, You’re Crossing Over

Bike guy: The light’s red. Move out of the way.
Woman: Fuck you. I don’t care if the light’s purple, bitch. I cross when I want!

–20th & 8th

Posted on March 5, 2020
Assholes, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Guys, Insults, Only in New York, Women

After Initially Rejecting My Advances

Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.

–13th & University

Posted on March 3, 2020
Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, The Village, Three is Company, Weirdness

Or a Piece of Paper with the Word “Money” on It

Dude: Are you guys going to get, like, totally drunk tonight and make out?
Sister #1: I'd do it for a lot of money.
Sister #2: A lot of money.
Sister #1: I'd do it for a little money.

–Uptown 1 Train

Posted on March 1, 2020
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Incest, Money & Class, On the Subway, Prostitution, Questions, Sisters