Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Little boy,jumping up and down: The Dow Jones is up! The Dow Jones is up!
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Some Random Girl
Crazy man, shouting at no one in particular: Fuck the economy, your asshole just dropped 200 points!
–8th Ave & 19th St
Slacker on a smoke break: Yeah, McCain said he is going to suspend his campaign so that he can work on the economy. I mean, really. It would be like me saying I'm suspending my pot distribution so that I can work on quantum physics.
–Forest Ave., Staten Island
Overheard by: political listener
Hobo on subway to man in suit: Spare change? Anyone? Spare change for the homeless? You look like you worked for Lehman Brothers, you're excused.
–51st St
Overheard by: Kate
Guy #1: Your mind is full of junk information!
Guy #2: Well, you keep rummaging in it, so that makes you a bum.
–Rivington & Ludlow
Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Island for, to swim in dirty water?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jena
Guy: Shut up and never call me again, you freak.
–56th & 13th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bobby
Peddler: Coney Island Freak Show t-shirts! It’s the new Gucci!
–Siren Music Fest, Coney Island
Overheard by: Sinestro
White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.
–MetroTech, Lawrence St
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preppy guy on cell: Where are you?…Malcolm X Boulevard & what?…Jesus. Find someone who looks nice and ask how to get to the 6 train…no, not a white person a nice person…well, a nice white person would be ideal…okay, call me back.
–86th & Lex
Pissing dude to couple walking: Hey! Hey! Don’t look! I am, in fact, urinating.
Friend: Yeah, sorry to ruin your night of flowers and romance, but at least you have a good story to tell your friends now.
–81st & Amsterdam
Guy #1: Hey, I figured something out.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Jesus is coming back today!
–City Bakery, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: McCrum
Well dressed party-goer: No, like, I went to Princeton -we lied all the time.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Cuny Graduate
Dude on cell: Okay… Great. Yeah. But I gotta go. My mom’s calling. [Hangs up, shoves phone in pocket.]
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Overheard by: Squiggs
Woman on cell: I just don’t understand why he got so freaked out about it. I said "I love you" -big fucking deal. That doesn’t mean anything. I could have been lying. I was lying, for Christ’s sake.
–L Train
Crazy hobo: Hillary Clinton is a liar, she lies. We’ve been married for 28 years and she won’t admit to it. Liar. Afraid of integration, that’s Hillary.
–E Train
Overheard by: Liz Beaux
Suit on cell to his wife: Yeah… Yeah… Oh, honey, I have to go, this is it, the train’s here. Bye! [Clicks over to the other line.] Hey buddy! How’s it going!
–125th St. Subway platform
Overheard by: EthanK
Twentysomething player on cell, picking fresh hairs off him : I feel you, I feel you, I can’t meet up with you now, I have to go to Forest Hills to get my haircut.
–N Train
Overheard by: john
Guy on cell: Most people lie to get out of jury duty and here I am being honest about NAMBLA.
–73rd & 2nd
Overheard by: melissa
Dude #1: I like that one.
Dude #2: Nah, she has a bad attitude.
Dude #1: What the fuck does attitude have to do with anything? She’s fucking hot!
Dude #2: True, but I want a stripper that makes me feel important, even though I know I’m not.
Dude #1: So you want a stripper that makes you feel important?
Dude #2: Man, I’ll settle for any woman that makes me feel important.
Dude #1: Then go fuck your mother.
Dude #2: True — fuck it, I’ll take the hottie with the shitty attitude. Pretty much describes all my girlfriends, anyway.
–Pacers Toastmasters Club
Overheard by: sean b
