Girl #1: Whatever, you never even let me put my feet on the furniture when I stay with you.
Girl #2: That is because your feet were covered with warts!
Girl #1: Warts that I caught from the Mother Wart that was on your foot!
–Central Park
Girl #1: Whatever, you never even let me put my feet on the furniture when I stay with you.
Girl #2: That is because your feet were covered with warts!
Girl #1: Warts that I caught from the Mother Wart that was on your foot!
–Central Park
Dowager: Today was the first day I took a Celebrex since the pogo stick thing.
–Park & 60th
Overheard by: Frank Laser
Girl on cell: …And I was like, “Good thing you think I’m pregnant.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Halcyon Murphy
Girl: You feed the rats?
Man: It’s not the rat’s fault it’s a rat.
Girl: Yeah, but rats carry diseases.
Man: So do most chicks.
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.
–Washington Square South & LaGuardia
Teen girl: I am pregnant again. How does this keep happening to me?
Teen boy: Ever thought of keeping your legs crossed?
Teen girl: How would that solve anything?
Teen boy : Huh?
–6 train
Girl #1: Yo, if I had a baby and it was really ugly, I’d say flat out, “That baby is ugly,” and I’d have to try again.
Girl #2: Naw. Just dress it up good, no one will know.
–Metro-North train
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Man: She needs to be on something.
Woman: She is; haven’t you seen all the medicine bottles on her desk?
Man: She’s got medicine on her desk? Let’s go get some.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: Jelly Bean
