Girl: You feed the rats?
Man: It’s not the rat’s fault it’s a rat.
Girl: Yeah, but rats carry diseases.
Man: So do most chicks.
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
Girl: You feed the rats?
Man: It’s not the rat’s fault it’s a rat.
Girl: Yeah, but rats carry diseases.
Man: So do most chicks.
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.
–Washington Square South & LaGuardia
Teen girl: I am pregnant again. How does this keep happening to me?
Teen boy: Ever thought of keeping your legs crossed?
Teen girl: How would that solve anything?
Teen boy : Huh?
–6 train
Girl #1: Yo, if I had a baby and it was really ugly, I’d say flat out, “That baby is ugly,” and I’d have to try again.
Girl #2: Naw. Just dress it up good, no one will know.
–Metro-North train
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Man: She needs to be on something.
Woman: She is; haven’t you seen all the medicine bottles on her desk?
Man: She’s got medicine on her desk? Let’s go get some.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: Jelly Bean
Girl: Why don’t you just make a list of things I need to change about myself so I can be more like you?
Guy: Okay, let’s start with your tooth brushing. How about rinsing off the toothbrush before you put it back into the cabinet so there is not old toothpaste and spit dripping off of it? And how about rinsing after you brush?
Girl: Anything else?
Guy: No, I think that’s the only thing you need to change about yourself.
–88th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Bill
Girl: I have to go to the doctor soon.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Because I can’t breathe.
Guy: That’s not good.
Girl: Yeah, my dad doesn’t think so either.
–Rubin Hall Residence, 5th Avenue
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
