Hipster #1: It’s just that after having Italian ice cream, I just don’t get American ice cream.
Hipster #2: No, totally… And have you had their sodas? They’re all good!
–L train, Bedford Ave
Overheard by: mbrowning
Hipster #1: It’s just that after having Italian ice cream, I just don’t get American ice cream.
Hipster #2: No, totally… And have you had their sodas? They’re all good!
–L train, Bedford Ave
Overheard by: mbrowning
Stoned hipster #1: Dude, Van Gogh is the Sex Pistols.
Stoned hipster #2: Huh?
Stoned hipster #1: Because, think about it: Van Gogh never sold a painting while he was alive, and the Sex Pistols never won any awards or nothing. Yet they’re both appreciated in our time.
Stoned hipster #2: It’s more like Van Gogh is The Velvet Underground.
Stoned hipster #1: Oh my god, Van Gogh is so The Velvet Underground!
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Abram
Yuppie: Today was such an incredible day, I met Richard Branson, and…
Hipster: Who?
Yuppie: Oh, Fabian, that’s why I love you so much.
–Broadway & 28th
Hipster guy: Hey, can you wrap that?
Cashier guy: Sure.
Hipster guy: Do you have any funny wrapping paper that says stuff like “Sorry your dad died” or something?
Cashier guy: Uh…no.
Hipster guy: Oh, damn. Well, do you have anything funny or weird or something?
Cashier guy: Well, we have one with little kids riding big flying books through clouds shaped like cute little animals.
Hipster guy: Yeah, no, I don’t think that will work. I don’t need to wrap it, right?
Cashier guy: Uh…I guess not.
Hipster guy: I just wanted it to be special and funny, and like ironic.
Cashier guy: Well, you can urinate on it. That would be really special and downright hilarious.
Hipster guy: Uh….okay, I’ll get the flying books paper.
–Barnes & Noble, 6th Avenue & 8th Street
Overheard by: m-co
Nine-year-old boy: Sometimes I just think I am a robot. I mean, aren't I a robot?
–E 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: definitely human
Tall guy: Yeah, you have to learn not to trust those shifty-eyed robots.
–Union Square
Hipster: And, like, he wasn't even gay… he was just not human.
–88th & Park
Comic book guy: No, not Optimus Prime. But yes, I have had sexual thoughts… about robots.
–40th & 7th
Cute chick: You don't need a sex robot to have sex with a robot.
–Old Town Bar
Overheard by: Lieut. Liplock
Hipster guy #1: You just pimped out your sister?
Hipster guy #2: To my best friend, yeah.
–The Crocodile Lounge, 14th St
Frantic hipster: Please tell me you have The Golden Girls on DVD!
Employee: Nope, we are all sold out.
Frantic hipster: Dammit! It’s sold out everywhere! What am I going to do?
–Barnes & Noble, Chelsea
Overheard by: Rehey11
Hipster: …yeah, I really don’t know…I mean, you see one drag queen on some kinda float, you seen ’em all.
–Le Monde, 112th & Broadway
Guy #1: So yeah, I saw that nigga out in the Village. That man is wilding, bro.
Guy #2: Word?
Guy #1: Yeah, dat nigga is out there rapping fags. He be like in a alley, and he be like, “yo commere”, then he fucks ’em, bro.
Guy #2: Ha, ha. Yo, dat’s fucked up man, that nigga always was crazy.
–M14 bus
Girl: I totally thought I was going to see my gym teacher here.
–7th Avenue & Greenwich
Overheard by: Lukas
Hipster chick: … And then the cops came in and busted him for cocaine possession.
Old mom: Oh, goodness.
Hipster chick: Yeah, he totally didn’t have that much.
Old mom: Did he have an eight-ball?
–66th & Park
Overheard by: ashley
Hipster #1 (sighing): I'm sorry, I'm just super cracked out right now.
Hipster #2 (pleased): That's good!
–Union Square
