Hipster girl #1: And then what?
Hipster girl #2: And then I pooped… Right in my pants!
–Spring & Mott
Overheard by: jacqui
Hipster girl #1: And then what?
Hipster girl #2: And then I pooped… Right in my pants!
–Spring & Mott
Overheard by: jacqui
Hipster Dude: That reminds me of the invention of penicillin.
Hipster Chick: Uh huh.
Hipster Dude: You see they discovered penicillin when they observed…
Hipster Chick: Uh huh.
–Ave A and 6th St.
Overheard by: Cityrag.com
Man: All I want is vaginal fluids. Been locked up for years upstate.
–Astor Place
Hipster dude: It smells like dirty vagina out here.
–Graham & Richardson, Williamsburg
Amateur gynecologist: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really just a big vagina with sand in it.
–93rd & 3rd
Frat guy: I don’t know, man…I just don’t trust her vagina.
–Outside Ray’s Pizza, Houston St
Overheard by: Becky
Chubby teen: I’ve never even touched a vagina!
–100th & Amsterdam
Worker: They had a bet on who ate the best pussy. They get on the stage and take turns going down on her.
–32nd & Madison
Woman, to store clerk: Excuse me, do you knows where the pussy products is?
–Duane Reade, 45th & 6th
Hipster guy, finishing a story: And so I said “suck on that, commie!”
Hipster girl: Wait, what?
Hipster guy: By “commie”, I mean “communist.” And by “suck on that,” I mean my cock.
Hipster girl, disappointed: Oh.
Gay hipster guy: I get it! But, I mean, what about the chafing?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Alexx
In Williamsburg:
Hipster #1: People in France are so fucked up.
Hipster #2: Not all of them. Only 20%.
Hipster chick: When my friend was pregnant she bought a book called Orgasmic Birth.
Hipster guy: So, wait — she used her baby like a dildo?
–The Sunburnt Cow, Ave C & 9th St
Overheard by: Soula
Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?
–Union Square
Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.
–Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: letthemusicplayy
Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!
–Rite Aid, Grand Central
Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!
–NYU Hayden Staircase
Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza
Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!
–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St
Overheard by: Cassie
20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.
–Chipotle, 51st & 8th
Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.
–Near Holland Tunnel
Overheard by: Claire H.
Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!
–6th & Ave A
Overheard by: Kremilyse
30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool
Hipster guy: And then we wandered down the street into Bed-Stuy, like into the projects, and these guys were screaming at us, like, “You in the wrong part of Brooklyn, white boys!” …but Marcus is half black!
Hipster girl: Oh, so it's not entirely ironic when he freestyles?
–Hayden Residence Hall, NYU
Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building?
–Elevator, 42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Cirrus Monk
