Hipster guy, after hipster girl sneezes: Oh, God bless you.
Hipster girl: Don’t bless me.
Hipster guy: Fuck you, then.
–Fat Baby, Lower East Side
Overheard by: RoninTy
Hipster guy, after hipster girl sneezes: Oh, God bless you.
Hipster girl: Don’t bless me.
Hipster guy: Fuck you, then.
–Fat Baby, Lower East Side
Overheard by: RoninTy
Hipster guy: Yeah, my dad’s a bird-petter.
Hipster girl: How much does he make for that?
Hipster guy: About three friends a year.
–R/W platform, 8th St
Overheard by: the imbiber
Hobo falls asleep on hipster girl and breathes in her face — she gags.
Hipster friend: What’s wrong?
Hipster girl: I just saw hell, and it smells like Taco Bell.
–4 train
Overheard by: I could smell it too
Hipster guy: So, in two days it’s going to be Friday the 13th. Let’s go kill someone!
Hipster chick: What?!
Hipster guy: Seriously, let’s go kill a hobo or something. Nobody would care!
–NYU Silver Center
Hipster girl: If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Hipster bartender: Lord of the Rings.
Hipster girl: Okay, seriously — this is a safe place, there’s no judgment here, but you’re fucking retarded.
–Enid’s Bar
Hipster #1: We’re all going to get tumors from cell phones. The speakers emit microwaves.
Hipster #2: That’s why I always switch which side I talk on. I want to spread it out.
–Coney Island-bound F train
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Hipster girl #1: Are those ginger Altoids? I’ve never had those before.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, they’re my favorite. Would you like one?
Hipster girl #1: Okay. [A few minutes later] These are really strong! They kind of burn.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah! I love them because it’s like my tongue is being mauled by a bear! Rawr!
Hipster girl #1: Rawr!
–D train
Gangster: Get yo’ nasty-ass skips the fuck outta here.
Hipster chick: Oh my god, why is he so mad at me? And what are skips?
–A train
Overheard by: Fultron-a-thon
Hipster chick: [Whispering]… Vagina. [Whispering]… Vagina. [Whispering]… Haha, vagina!
Six people collectively: Shut up!
Four-year-old boy: Mom, what’s a vagina?
Mom: It’s a word that only fucking inconsiderate people say around four-year-olds.
Four-year-old: Mom, what’s ‘fucking’?
–A train
Overheard by: Alex Gherardi aka Booger
Hipster #1 walking past large inflatable snowman: Dude, I fucking hate Christmas. It’s like, nothing but a giant celebration of modern consumer capitalism.
Hipster #2 gesturing to wreath on church door: Totally. Look, even the churches are advertising Christmas these days.
–Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn
