Guy: So are you, like, a writer?
Hobo: Umm…no.
–69th & 3rd
Guy: So are you, like, a writer?
Hobo: Umm…no.
–69th & 3rd
Crazy hobo: Well, hey baby, you're beautiful!
Pedestrian: I'm a man, dammit, I'm a man!
–9th Ave
Hobo: Can you spare a cigarette? I know you have one. My friend was a commodities trader, and he taught me all about Wall Street. You must love those expensive cigars! [laughs]Suit: That’s amazing. Where’s your friend now?
Hobo: I don’t know. He’s homeless.
–Wall St
Overheard by: steven lowell
Half-asleep hobo, in garbled voice: Can ya help me out, man…?
Passing student #1: What did he say?
Passing student #2: I dunno. If you're gonna beg you should at least enunciate!
–7th St & Ave B
Hobo: Hey, can a po’ man get some money?
Tourist girls: No, sorry.
Hobo: Fine! None of y’all look like Farrah Fawcett anyways.
–L train
Man: I am living the American dream — I am unemployed, I wake up and play Xbox, and the state pays me! I am going to stay unemployed for as long as possible.
Hobo: The state pays you to not work? Shit, son, what am I doing wrong?
–W 51st & 11th
Hobo: Spare some change, miss?
Hipster girl: I have some food. It’s still warm, you want it?
Hobo: No, thanks. I’m on a special diet. I don’t eat food.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Crazy hobo: Marriage is for having children, and gay people never have children! Marriage is for sex, and gay people never have sex!
Latina: He needs to get fucked up the ass.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Ari
Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven’t got the balls!
–Prince between Mulberry & Mott
Overheard by: Hashashin
Chick: I don’t have any more cigarettes.
Bag lady: I don’t want no cigarette. I ain’t no crack addict. I’m a ho.
–outside Ding Dong Lounge, UWS
