Child, after hurting himself: Jesus!
Grandma: Oh, no. Don’t say that tonight.
Child: Christ!
–Seder, UWS
Overheard by: bobby bo bobby
Headline by: AL
Runners-Up:
· “Sawww-eee.” – Sameer
· “All that colorful Yiddish I taught you, and this is the best you can do?” – MB
· “Blasphemy is allah the same to me” – Yugan
· “Either way, it’s still not kosher” – Peter
· “Wait until after we kill him” – bobofthejungle
Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs!
–Brooklyn Heights
Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love!
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: anon
Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people!
–23rd Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: punkee
Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day!
–Lafayette & Astor
Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now?
–Hudson St
Overheard by: lilli
12-year-old girl to friend: So, he asked me for a piggyback ride and grabbed onto my boobs! Isn’t that what you call sexism? When you’re a perv? Sexist?
–6th & Houston
Overheard by: Ha, ha, Mal.
Man on cell: You’re an eight, but you’d be a ten if your boobs were bigger…
–19th & 7th
Girl: Where’s my phone? … Oh, there’s my boob.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mariah
Woman on cell: I have to throw my breasts around and tell every guy I want to have sex with them at work.
–68th & 2nd
Chick on cell: I haven’t yet met him, you know, but he has a Christmas card featuring my boobies on his fridge.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl #1 singing: Bum basket, bum basket!
Girl #2: Let’s put everything we don’t want into the basket.
Girl #1: And deliver it to bums in the neighborhood on Thanksgiving.
Girl #2: Wearing pilgrim outfits!
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: laughing at the next table
Student #1: Yeah, but for Christmas break I'm gonna be in South Carolina.
Student #2: Really? I'm gonna be in North Carolina! Maybe we'll run into each other!
–Classroom, NYU
Girl #1: Mom wants you to dress Jose up for Halloween.
Girl #2: He’s only 1 1/2 years old. What would I do that for?
Girl #1: Dress him up as an M&M.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
–L Train
Overheard by: Christopher
Guy: If I ever beat my kids during Christmas, this is the song I’d play.
–Ulysses, Pearl Street
Overheard by: Dennis Sugrue
Latino with kid’s bike #1: Yeah, he wants to change Father’s Day to ‘Dad Gets a Free Lap Dance Day.’ And he wants to call Halloween, uh… He wants to call it… uh… Yo, why’s it called ‘Halloween,’ anyway? What the fuck is Halloween?
Latino with kid’s bike #2: ‘Cause you know the word ‘hollow,’ like a tree is hollow? You know, and pumpkins are hollow. And ‘ween’ ’cause you can wear anything you want, like women’s clothing and shit.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: Mistah Rabbit
Wigger #1: Yo, son, you’re not comin’ through this weekend and shit. Where you at?
Wigger #2: Yo, it’s like Yom Kippur and shit.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: j.anna
Girl: I need to get something for my boyfriend for valentine’s day. I’m thinking of some panties and an outfit from Victoria’s Secret. What do you think?
Boy: That’s nice. I like dirty panties. Hanes tighty whities for women. I like them real dirty and crusty lookin’, like she just rolled around in some shit.
Girl: You nasty! What’s wrong with you?
Boy: Don’t be hatin’, that’s what I like.
–R Train
Overheard by: Chris
