Girl #1: Yo, it’d be so cute if we both lost our virginity this weekend.
Girl #2: But you’re not a virgin
Girl #1: Oh, right. Dammit.
Bum: If you ain’t a virgin, you must be a ho! Don’t come back to this church. This is God’s place.
–St. John the Divine
Overheard by: a fox
Tourist: Will you take $20 for that bag?
Street vendor: Twenty? You’ve got nerve. I’ll pray for you.
Tourist: Pray that someone is stupid enough to pay more than twenty bucks for that plastic piece of shit.
–52nd & Madison
Skateboarder on cell: I was just at the spot and there was no car. Fuck, I know what a car looks like and it wasn’t there. Are you sure it was a white Lexus? Fuck you, it wasn’t there. I got eyes, you know. Well then fuck off and go buy your own damn drugs!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Guy #1 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these babes.
Guy #2 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these jugs.
Guy #1: Look at these bombs.
Guy #2: Holy shit! Russian Scuds!
Guy #1: Look at these torpedos!
Guy #2: Look at these fun bags!
Guy #1: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! What a babe!
Guy #2: Yeah, but her friend has to do something with that can.
–Broadway & 22nd
Overheard by: Eric Wenstrom
Girl #1: …and I will totally sell you my old shuffle, cheap.
Girl #2: I don’t know…
Guy: Fuck that, iTunes sucks! All iProducts suck!
Girl #2: Shh! You might offend the girl with the iPod.
Guy: Fuck her! She can’t hear us with those ear things in!
–F train
Overheard by: Girl with the iPod
Guy: That the fucking bitch that called the cops on me! That fucking bitch called the cops! You! White trash! White trash! White trash!
Chick: I always knew you were a bigot.
–St. George, SI
Drunk guy: you’re not taking money out, you’re taking each other out!
Pair of fruitfucks!
–15th & 8th
Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love…me. You want to marry…me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye!
She leaves. He turns to the next table.
Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?
–Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue
