Bimbette #1: So, like, for my essay I wrote about the Jew migration in the 19th century…
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, what Jew migration?! You mean, like, oh my god — like Moses leading them out of Egypt like in the Red Sea?!
–Oakland Gardens, Queens
Bimbette #1: So, like, for my essay I wrote about the Jew migration in the 19th century…
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, what Jew migration?! You mean, like, oh my god — like Moses leading them out of Egypt like in the Red Sea?!
–Oakland Gardens, Queens
Jewish guy, to young white couple: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hobo: Man, do they fucking look Jewish?! Leave them the fuck alone, and get the hell outta here!
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: 54
Headline by: Michael DeLong
Runners-Up:
· “Go Circumcise Somebody Else!” – John
· “Jesus Returns to Do Some Street Work” – Sim Etrias
· “Let My People Go, Bitch!” – jenna
· “Moses Had Such A Temper” – Dion
· “Sorry, Didn’t Notice He Was Short One Foreskin.” – Sheathed
· “Where Can I Get a Hobo Bodyguard?” – Ashley
Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: cole
Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.
–Media Productions class, City College
Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!
–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island
Overheard by: Alie
Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!
–Houston & Laffayette
Overheard by: Jake
Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?
–56th & 5th
Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having
Jewish guy: I have to study a lot today.
Spanish guy: Dude, you had the whole weekend to study!
Jewish guy: I had the funeral, and I got food poisoning!
Spanish guy: I can understand the funeral, because, well… But the food poisoning is all your fault — you ate pork and you’re Jewish!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: liz
Goy #1 examining a mezuzah: What are these things?
Goy #2: I think it’s a Jewish decoration.
Goy #1: Oh, yeah. I’ve seen them in Jewish people’s houses.
Goy #2: Yeah, I think it’s called a dreidel.
–Abigael’s on Broadway, 39th & Broadway
Overheard by: BobsBigBoys
Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Chick, about a shiksa: … So she asked me what Passover was, and I told her. She thought it was weird and was like, ‘I don’t celebrate killing people!’
Jewish girl: I don’t remember killing anyone.
Catholic girl: Um, Jesus?
–Barnard dorm
Overheard by: Isn’t it nice we can discuss this candidly?
Ignorant mom: Why do you have all that hair on your head? Are you a Jew?
Poor kid: Yes!
Ignorant mom: You’re not a Jew! You do not practice Jew-ism.
–A train
Overheard by: A Devout Jesus-ist
Tourist #1: Oooh, what’s that?
Tourists #1 and #2 simultaneously: A synagogue!
–St. Bart’s, 50th & Park
Overheard by: former Episcopalian
Crazy-haired woman: There’s lots of elderly people around here.
Lady: Well, it’s life.
Crazy-haired woman: Yes, but specifically in the San Fernando Valley.
Lady: Mmm-hmmm.
Crazy-haired woman: Where are you from?
Lady: New York.
Crazy-haired woman: You must be Jewish or Italian — which?
Lady: I’m Jewish.
Crazy-haired woman: Oh, the best people and the best meat.
Lady: Excuse me?
Crazy-haired woman: The Jews — they’re the best people and the best meat.
–Pharmacy
