Child: Mommy, what’s that smell?
Mother: That’s the city, honey.
–44th & 8th
Child: Mommy, what’s that smell?
Mother: That’s the city, honey.
–44th & 8th
Father: This is what the brain looks like. It’s the least used part of the human body.
Wide-Eyed daughter: Really?
Father: It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
–Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Kid: So my mom bought some 100-calorie packs of Oreos because she thought that they were just small in size, but it turns out that they have no cream.
Girl: Aw, that’s so cute. I love your mom.
Kid: It’s not cute. She cried.
–Grand Central
Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!
–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St
Overheard by: Alison R.
Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?
–49th & 7th
Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?
–Egyptian Wing, the Met
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.
–UCBT, 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Tobster
Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.
—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Sara
Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.
–1 train
Overheard by: i like toes
Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.
–34th & 8th
Two 12 year olds knock into a business woman.
Woman: Don’t you say excuse me?
12 year old #1: Shut the fuck up, bitch, ’cause I got my balls in your mouth.
Woman: But… but…
12 year old #2: Aww, bitch, you better shut up, ’cause he’s got his balls in your mouth.
–uptown 4 train
Overheard by: DVI
Kid: There’s too many damn theaters on this street.
–Broadway
Overheard by: Monolythagis
Little girl: Where does the H train go, mommy?
Mom: There is no H train.
Little girl: I train?
Mom: No I train either.
Little girl: J train? Where does the J train go?
Mom: To Brooklyn. [Pause] Nowhere we’d ever go.
–F train, between West 4th & 14th
Little English girl: Where are we now, Mummy?
English Mummy: We’re in New York, in America.
Little English girl: [sigh] We’re still in America?
–Union Square East
Overheard by: Manhattman
Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: cathy hannan
