Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!
–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St
Overheard by: Alison R.
Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!
–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St
Overheard by: Alison R.
Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?
–49th & 7th
Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?
–Egyptian Wing, the Met
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.
–UCBT, 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Tobster
Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.
—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Sara
Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.
–1 train
Overheard by: i like toes
Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.
–34th & 8th
Two 12 year olds knock into a business woman.
Woman: Don’t you say excuse me?
12 year old #1: Shut the fuck up, bitch, ’cause I got my balls in your mouth.
Woman: But… but…
12 year old #2: Aww, bitch, you better shut up, ’cause he’s got his balls in your mouth.
–uptown 4 train
Overheard by: DVI
Kid: There’s too many damn theaters on this street.
–Broadway
Overheard by: Monolythagis
Little girl: Where does the H train go, mommy?
Mom: There is no H train.
Little girl: I train?
Mom: No I train either.
Little girl: J train? Where does the J train go?
Mom: To Brooklyn. [Pause] Nowhere we’d ever go.
–F train, between West 4th & 14th
Little English girl: Where are we now, Mummy?
English Mummy: We’re in New York, in America.
Little English girl: [sigh] We’re still in America?
–Union Square East
Overheard by: Manhattman
Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: cathy hannan
Mom: So I talked to the lawyers this morning, honey, and when school is done, we’re going to move into the Hampton house.
5-year-old son: Is Daddy coming?
Mom: No sweetie, he is going to stay in the city.
–71 Irving Place Coffee & Tea Bar
Overheard by: DBG
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it?
–Bedford & N 10th
Overheard by: susan
