Lady: Oh, Coca-Cola! I guess you don’t have gastrointeritis!
Girl: Uh, actually I was going to use it to cook.
Checkout guy: Yeah, you can cook with Coke. You don’t have to just drink it.
–Jefferson Market, 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole J
Lady: Oh, Coca-Cola! I guess you don’t have gastrointeritis!
Girl: Uh, actually I was going to use it to cook.
Checkout guy: Yeah, you can cook with Coke. You don’t have to just drink it.
–Jefferson Market, 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole J
Man, pointing at window display: That’ll make a nice gift for the wife: a pair of underwear that say “SALE” across the ass. Classy.
–Outside Victoria’s Secret, Herald Square
Overheard by: sean
Hipster chick: Quite frankly I’d rather wash all my bras tonight.
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Woman to five elderly ladies: All right, ladies, put your underwear on and let’s go.
–L&B Spumoni Gardens, 86th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Chick on cell: So how long did it take the four of you to find your bra the next morning?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Jess is hot.
Girl on cell: I am so not letting my underwear go on a date with his underwear.
–Prince & Broadway
Chick: Omigod, look, it’s a moose! It’s like, a moose rampant.
Guy: Where? Dude, that’s a rhino.
Chick: No, the moose is next to it.
Guy: It doesn’t look like a moose. It looks like a buck.
Chick: Well, whether it’s a buck or a moose, there should not be a
rhino in that forest.
Guy: Agreed.
Chick: Oh man, now they’re raving!
Bag lady: Excuse me, you got any change?
–125 Street Metro-North station
Old woman: “Free“? Nothing’s free around here! That’s what’s wrong with you immigrants, always looking for something for free!
Businessman lady: I said “sweet”, not “free”.
Old woman: I know what you meant!
–Zeytuna, William & Maiden Lane
Girl on cell: Hello?…Hi. Sorry about that…Yeah, I was getting bothered…a transvestite who wanted a cigarette…yeah, then she growled at me.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Young woman at a party in Manhattan: “On the first day, the director of the department introduced us to the writing program and, when he asked us if we had any quesitons, one girl raised her hand and she asked, ‘Where are all the guys?’–that was the first question someone asked! I was so embarrassed.”
Guy #1 holding porn DVD: I would so love to fuck a girl that was into DP.
Guy #2: Yeah, me too, but ball touching is so gay, and I’m trying to recover from the cock.
Headline by: Will
Runners-Up:
· “Because hot cock requires cold turkey” – Greg Costello
· “He also just had laser surgery for his masturbatory blindness” – remark
· “I know dad, i know.” – nick
· “I think there’s a 12 inch program for that.” – nick
· “Rectum? That rooster nearly killed ‘im!” – Dalton
· “Step One: Stop going to the porn shop with your “buddy”” – DanaLishs
Dad: Wow! Look at all these paintings! Right here in the open, even if it rains. Pretty cool, huh?
Eight-year-old: I want my ice cream. You said I could have ice cream.
–Governors Island
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. I promise it will never. happen. again.
–uptown C train
Man screaming on cell : Nah, I didn’t lie to you about nuthin’. [Pause] Even if I did lie, I sho’ wouldn’t tell you about it!
–43rd & 6th
Overheard by: C Mike
Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Dain
