Lady: You know that guy you stayed with last summer?
Daughter: Who?
Lady: He called last night. That rug salesman from Turkey.
Daughter: I never stayed with a Turkish rug salesman, Mom.
Lady: He’s coming over at 10 tonight.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: I don’t do his sales.
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Old, disgruntled customer: I wish I was young again.
Cashier: Do you believe in reincarnation? You could just kill yourself.
–Deli, Lex Ave, between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Becki
Thug #1: I don’t know what happened — I bought her a shot!
Thug #2: Yo, you can’t be buyin’ shots for fat chicks — they be drinkin’ ’em anyway.
–W 4th, outside Down the Hatch
Overheard by: NCS
Man: Dude, your marketing department — they’re like a bunch of baby birds!
Woman: I know! And I’m sick of throwing up in their mouths.
–57th & 5th
Creepy man, about tourist’s rack: Are those real?
Tourist girl to friend: Whoa, I guess we should have left our nice purses at home…
–Broadway
School girl #1: I wish I had the chance to watch more old movies.
School girl #2: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I haven’t seen any of the classics… You know, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Dirty Dancing.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: trannysmithapple
Bimbette #1: Oh my god, shamans are, like, so in right now!
Bimbette #2: Really?!
Bimbette #1: Yeah! Like, every day I wake up and it’s like, shaman-this and shaman-that.
–50th & 6th
Occasionally, we leave New York and also overhear great quotes that we’d like to use on the site, which we haven’t done when they’re not in an Office or Beach. To encourage our eavesdropping, we’ve launched Overheard Everywhere – The Voice of the Rest (of the world outside of New York).
This site is a bit different than our others because, in addition to posting what we overhear ourselves and what our spies tell us, we will also link to the Best Of the other overheards on the Internet, on the hundreds of imitation overheard sites that have popped up — so, if you or a friend of yours runs your own overheard site, tell us about it, and we’ll read it daily and post and link to our favorites on your site, too.
Let us know what you think at hatemail@overheardinnewyork.com or lovemail@overheardinnewyork.com
Team Overheard
Woman on cell: Well, we have a large problem — his thing is very small…
–Outside Papaya Dog, W 4th
Overheard by: notrob
Professor: So, you have all seen large penises and small penises, but you never see a fatty penis! [Class laughs.] Is that a ‘Yes, that is true’ laugh, or what?
–Columbia University Med Center
Female theater-goer: His penis would have been normal-sized if he was five-foot-six. As it was, everything was out of proportion.
–Golden Theater
Overheard by: Colleen
Drunk man with imaginary cup: Excuse me, sorry for doing this — I’m not shy, I just have a small penis, and I’d really appreciate some money for a penis enlargement surgery. And if not money, then a sandwich. A BLT or a larger cock. Thank you. I just want a larger cock.
–2 train
Overheard by: Man with the big penis
