Suit #1: So, how long did your five-minute meeting last?
Suit #2: A fucking hour.
–John St, between Cliff & Pearl
Suit #1: So, how long did your five-minute meeting last?
Suit #2: A fucking hour.
–John St, between Cliff & Pearl
Guy: Did you try rebooting?
Chick: Of course.
Guy: Because that’s the first thing you should try doing when you–
Chick: –Look, half the guys I’ve dated have been in tech support. I’ve picked up a hell of a lot more than just VD. I know about rebooting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ctrl alt delete
Minnesota girl: Like, when I come to New York I want to do something, like, crazy and fun!
Guy: Well, listen, you ran into the right guy, because I am, like…
Girl and guy in unison: Mr. Crazy Fun!
Guy: Exactly. Like, tonight I’m thinking about starting off at this place called a hookah bar. Have you ever heard of one?
Girl: No! What is it?
Guy: Well, it’s this place where you smoke tobacco in Jordanian water pipes!
Girl: Wow.
–Koronets Pizza, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wyatt
Yuppie: You know, that’s a very expensive beer you’re not drinking.
Girlfriend: Can’t we have one night where you don’t quote American Psycho?
Yuppie: Oh, he bought her Chardonnay. Don’t worry, I’m not a Chardonnay guy.
Girlfriend: Whatever. Just don’t nail-gun me in my sleep tonight. Again.
–Iggy’s on Rivington
Man: Don’t you want to go to the water?
Woman, wiping something off her arm with a napkin: No. I’ve had enough poop for today.
–Central Park South, between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Victor
Lady: You know that guy you stayed with last summer?
Daughter: Who?
Lady: He called last night. That rug salesman from Turkey.
Daughter: I never stayed with a Turkish rug salesman, Mom.
Lady: He’s coming over at 10 tonight.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: I don’t do his sales.
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Old, disgruntled customer: I wish I was young again.
Cashier: Do you believe in reincarnation? You could just kill yourself.
–Deli, Lex Ave, between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Becki
Thug #1: I don’t know what happened — I bought her a shot!
Thug #2: Yo, you can’t be buyin’ shots for fat chicks — they be drinkin’ ’em anyway.
–W 4th, outside Down the Hatch
Overheard by: NCS
Man: Dude, your marketing department — they’re like a bunch of baby birds!
Woman: I know! And I’m sick of throwing up in their mouths.
–57th & 5th
