Mother: What would you guys want if we get McDonald's? We haven't had it in so long…
20-something son: We haven't had it in so long because it's so fattening and gross. Do you know how much fat is in just one of their wraps?
Teenage son: This is not The Biggest Loser. This is called We're Getting McDonald's.
–Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Girl on phone: Oh my god, mom! Aren't you so excited about these new reforms? I am so excited about these new reforms! Almost as excited as I am about my new water bottle!
–Barnard College Campus
Black guy to two other guys: And then he disrespected me… So I threw a bottle of Snapple at his head.
–Central Park
Guy selling water in the street: Ice cold water! Ice cold water! One dollar. Only a dollar. It's only a dollar, assholes!
–Harlem
Guy speaking to someone else: Juice! It's moose, with a j, holla!
–Highline Ballroom
Overheard by: Pasha
Boy: Mommy, Mommy! Let’s pretend I’m Jesus and everyone wants to kill me.
Mommy: I don’t think I want to play that game.
–Central Park
Child: Mommy, what happened when you were 17?
Mother: Mommy turned to a life of crime.
Child: Well, what happened when you were 18?
Mother: Mommy cleaned herself up.
–MoMA
Five-year-old white boy: Mommy! Mommy! That man and that woman have American flags!
Mom: That’s a Puerto Rican flag, honey.
Little boy: But it’s red, white, and blue.
Mom: Both of our flags are red, white, and blue. Our flag has 52 stars and theirs only has one.
–Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: 4th Grade US History Graduate
Mother: So, were you successful?
Daughter: With what, taking a shit?
–Gershwin Theatre, W. 51st Street
Mom to little kid: Joey has two moms.
Kid: I'm pretty sure he has three.
–116th St & Amsterdam Ave
Young boy: Mom, what are those two things?
Mom, reading display: That’s your scrotum, right there…
Young boy: What’s a scrotum?
Mom: It’s your… That thing… Oh, you know what it is!
–Bodies Exhibit
Overheard by: Marty
Middle-aged man: The hell makes you think I'm following you?
MILF with baby: Oh, I dunno. Maybe because every time I turn around, you're standing there with that stupid, constipated look on your face!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sketch
Kid, in stroller: What's that?
Mom: A plumber truck.
Kid: A plumber truck?
Mom: Uh-huh.
Kid: I wanna be a plumber truck!
–7th & Atlantic, Brooklyn
Overheard by: concerned for the future
