Nostalgia

Columbia grad student: …developing a really spectacular
sense of intellectual arrogance.

–Columbia University

Professor, receiving text message in class: Ooh. That’s interesting. Invitation to go dancing, not from my girlfriend. Thank God I’ve got permission… We’re never going to get to anything today, are we? I’m so bad at this…

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Chinese professor: You see Chinese like tofu, you never use it.

–John Jay College

Overheard by: soccerking3t

Teen guy: So I ended up in a dress. I don’t think English class will ever be the same.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: Natasha

Sadistic professor: Unfortunately we don’t flog people anymore. You usually pass out after you finish screaming.

–Fordham, the Bronx

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Drunken pre-med to drunken boy teetering on a concrete railing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doctor yet!

–West Village, 8th & 14th

Overheard by: annie

NYU girl to professor: So, if you’re sleeping with Nietzsche, you shouldn’t ask the question, "What are you thinking?"

–NYU classroom, Mercer & Houston

Chick #1: I’m nostalgic for the ’40s.
Chick #2: You can’t be nostalgic for an era you never lived through.
Chick #1: Fine. Then I long for the ’40s to the very depth of my soul.
Chick #2: From your loins?
Chick #1: Yes. My loins… They long for the ’40s.

–Herald Square

Guy #1: There’s just no place to go dancing, you know?
Guy #2: You can’t find a dance club in New York?
Guy #1: No, it’s just not right –I really like to Lindy.
Guy #2: …
Guy #1: …
Guy #2: Dude. Where the hell do you learn to Lindy?

–34th & Broadway

50-year-old man: God, I haven’t see you since we were, what, 21?
50-year-old woman: What was it, 1980? Somewhere around there?
50-year-old man: Remember that Frank Zappa concert we went to at Stonybrook in 1978?
50-year-old woman: Yeah, and who got you those front row seats, motherfucker? Me! I stood on line for 24 hours so I could be the first in line for tickets.
50-year-old man: Remember he pulled you up on stage to sing with him?
50-year-old woman: Sure!
50-year-old man: Well, I have a recording of that. I had a little tape recorder in my pocket and I taped the whole show.
50-year-old woman: You’re gonna make a copy of that tape, aren’t you? I gave you your very first blowjob, remember?
50-year-old man: Believe me, I remember it in every exquisite detail. Yeah, that’s worth a copy of a tape.

–Sardi’s

Overheard by: Big Larry

Tourist mom to son: Hold on tight to the pole.
Tourist dad: Hey Stephen*, when I met your mom she was on a pole.
Tourist mom: Stop that!

–Uptown R train

Overheard by: burst out laughing

Boyfriend: I used to really love South Pacific.
Girlfriend: Of course you did.
Boyfriend: I think I used to be gay when I was little.

–Manhattan-bound N train

Teenage girl #1: Whatever happened to that ShamWow guy?
Teenage girl #2: I think he got beat up by some prostitutes or something.

–10th & Broadway

Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.

–4th Ave & 9th St station

Overheard by: Tacologic

Queer suit #1: Wow. That was good.
Queer suit #2: Yeah. You were screaming so loud I had to put the pillow over your face.

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: Dan

Chick: Hey, remember that time when you snorted coke off that stripper’s ass?
Dude: Yeah!

–Scruffy Duffy’s, 46th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lauren DeGasperis