Girl in heels to friends, trailing behind teacher: Look at him trying to shake us! Ain't never gonna happen. (calls ahead loudly) Mr. Daniels! Can we go to Sephora?
Teacher: (looks over shoulder, goes from fast walk to jog)
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scarface
Bottle blonde: Eww, listen to this: he asked me to have a threesome for his birthday.
Natural blonde: So are you going to do it?
Bottle blonde: Ewwwie! No.
Natural blonde: Yeah…that wouldn't be too fabulous.
–Washington Square Park
Woman: Oh! That’s one of the books I want you to get for me.
Man: I’m not sure if they have it at the library.
–Barnes & Noble, West Village
Overheard by: Caren Lissner
Teenage guy: Dude, I just coughed up a little speck of blood. Do you think I could have another cigarette or is that a bad idea?
–68th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Cully
Where: Wendy’s, Caesar’s Bay
Mom Customer: “Can you exchange this Kid’s Meal toy for me? I need something for a girl to play with.”
French tourist girlfriend, arguing with boyfriend: Do you think I'm not being serious?I can't take it anymore!
French tourist boyfriend, with constant little smile: Tu trouverais pas cela plus stylé d'aller au bord de l'eau? (“Don't you think it would be much nicer to go on the waterfront?”)
(girlfriend leaves)
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Tom
Hobo: Can I get a dollar, so I can beat up hipsters and get booze?
Guy: I want to do that for free.
Hobo: Yeah, me too, but it's more fun when you're drunk.
–Driggs & 2nd St
Overheard by: Jppod
Guido: It just depends where you put your penis.
–South Street Seaport
Guido on cell: Can I get a blowjob with that too? (pause) Mmmm ,yeah. Where are you right now?
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Ferch
Guido: I'm about to go back to Men's Warehouse and be like, "what the fuck?"
–51st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Puerto Rican girl: That's it! Koreans are like Asian Guidos! Except they don't tan…
–59th & 10th
Overheard by: shawn
Black man in suit and expensive loafers, on cell: Bring me the box, unopened. (cackles) Bring it to me.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Samantha
Comedy club guy: Come see a comedy show, it's way better than next to normal!
Teenage girl: Bitch, please.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ali
