Young guy: Excuse me! Do you have a minute to spare for gay rights? Sixty seconds!
Old man, walking by: I can’t even get laid, and they want to worry me about gay rights!
–65th & Columbus
Young guy: Excuse me! Do you have a minute to spare for gay rights? Sixty seconds!
Old man, walking by: I can’t even get laid, and they want to worry me about gay rights!
–65th & Columbus
Younger woman: What's the name of Jesus' father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it's not “John”? Forget it.
–Midtown
Friendly old lady: Did you see the way your dog greeted me outside? Stood right up on its hind legs to say hello! Such a sweet animal!
Middle-aged computer geek: Yes, he likes to socialize. I’m working. Enjoy.
–Starbucks, Broadway & 70th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Old woman to am New York guy: So that was about four years ago, and I haven't been with another man since.
am New York guy: Oh yeah?
–8th St & 34th St
Old man #1: Where are we?
Old man #2: The movies!
Old man #1: I thought we were going to the barbecue!
Old man #2: Yes, it's time for the barbecue.
Old man #1: Aaaaaauuuuuugggggghhhhhh!
–Lincoln Plaza Cinemas
Overheard by: Laughing uncontrollably
Eccentric-looking older man: What are you?
20-something girl: Portuguese.
Eccentric-looking older man: Portuguese? They're good people. They mind their own business.
20-something girl: Yeah?
Eccentric-looking older man: Yeah, not like the Jews!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Christina
Girl, as phone vibrates in her pocket: Oh, that scared me! My phone always scares me when it vibrates like that!
Old lady in bike shorts: Girl, you should never let a vibrator scare you!
–Starbucks
Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.
–N Train
All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?
–Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!
–Uptown 6 Train
Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon…he can't even vote.
–East Village Urban Outfitters
Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kip
Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.
–70th & Columbus
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Younger man: Maybe I’ll marry your sister. Then I’ll kill myself.
Older man: I’m waiting to give my sister to an enemy.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.
The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.
Woman: That was weird.
–V Train
