Old man: I like your outfit.
Old woman: Thanks, I wore it at a funeral last night.
–Morris Park
Overheard by: Lon Steinberg
Old man: I like your outfit.
Old woman: Thanks, I wore it at a funeral last night.
–Morris Park
Overheard by: Lon Steinberg
Old man with sign reading “sinners without faith are going to hell”: Do you know where you're going?
Hot girl: Yeah, old man…I'm going shopping.
–W 53rd St
Overheard by: Melissa Platt
Old lady covered in baby powder: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts… Which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I'll just give you a selection of six. (starts putting random donuts in bag)
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts, don't trick me.
–Flatbush, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing
Old lady #1: Well, then my grandson and his friends went over to Hooters. You know, Hooters the restaurant? Do you know what hooters are?
Old lady #2: Big boobies?
–Guy & Gallard Deli, 6th & 37th
Overheard by: Michelle S.
Old Jewish man: My doorman doesn't like me.
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: Why?
Old Jewish man: If I told you, you wouldn't believe it. I had a bunch of newspapers I had to throw out, but I had to put them in the recycling bin. So I was opening it up when a black woman said to me, “aw, sir, you don't have to go through the garbage!” and she gave me twenty dollars!
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: You didn't keep it, did you?
Old Jewish man: She dashed away down the stairs! I had to.
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: And the doorman saw that?
Old Jewish man: Uh-huh.
–Chase Bank, Queens Blvd
Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists…
–The Guy Molinari
Overheard by: Lou
Guy: Oh, man! It is not a good day to be my underwear!
–Wine Store, 75th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Raven
10-year-old to little brother: Hey! C'mere! You wanna play Captain Underpants?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: dogboy
Guy on cell: I'm not paying her to smell your underwear!
–57th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Lagsalot
Loud older gentleman watching people at subway entrance: They don't wear brassieres anymore!
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Zombie Boyfriend
Older lady in funeral procession behind bag piper wearing kilt: I looked. He's wearing underpants.
–120th & Broadway
Young woman: How many children do you have?
Old woman: Two… well, I had three, but one moved to Florida.
–Doctor’s office, 166 E. 63rd
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
(man with headphones singing out loud moves over so that an elderly couple can sit down together)
Old lady: Thank you.
Man: You are very, very welcome. I’m rappin’ out loud, but I’m a gentleman. I was raised in the streets, but I’m good.
–1 Train
Overheard by: huh?
