Girl #1: So how did you meet him?
Girl #2: He just came up to me on the street and asked me my name… Then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink, so I took him to the bar everyone was at.
Girl #1: Then what happened?
Girl #2: Then we fucked.
Girl #1: What? Just like that?
Girl #2: Yeah, I can hardly remember, but we left the bar, grabbed a cab, went to my dorm and then we fucked.
–CVS, 9th & 58th
Bum: Hey, want to get married?
Woman holds up her ring finger and keeps walking.
Bum: Aw, you’re already married? Come on, I’ve got food stamps!
–29th & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: brian
Black guy #1: Ooh, ladies? Konichiwa!
Black guy #2: Arigato!
Asian girl: We’re Korean, motherfuckers!
Black guy #1: Sayonara!
–7th & A
Overheard by: M!J
Black guy: Yo, I’d fuck the Chinese out of those bitches.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: JD
Dude on motorcycle handing rose to girl: A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady.
Girl: Ew.
–W 4th St
Guy #1, yelling: Bye, girls! Keep your clothes on!
Guy #2: Dude…that's my sister.
–W 3rd & Mercer
Overheard by: Checking her out
Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Finer den Usher?
Girl #1: Nah, nobody finer den Usher.
–The Pavilion, Park Slope
Black guy: Yo, fuck the Jedi. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the other Dark Lord you’ve been looking for.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Joshua S.
Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Buddhist, but I’m really a Sith.
–UA movie theater, Union Square
Overheard by: Lara Evangelista
Hispanic guy, noting hot chick passerby: Hey, baby.
Hot chick: (rolls eyes)
Hispanic guy: (takes off shirt and puts it on the ground for her to walk over)
Hot chick, stopping: I'll give you some credit for that one…but fuck off. (continues walking)
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: passerby
Headline by: ddv
Runners-Up:
· “A Dramatization Of Citibank’s Credit Protocol” – NoCredit
· “But…I Would Have Taken You to 4th Meal!” – Maddy
· “How Many Credits Do I Need to Save Up For a Blowjob?” – mark
· “It Was a Bad Day To Forget That He Was Wearing a Sports Bra” – Nick Pollotta
· “Matthew McConaughey Finally Gets Some Cred….” – RaindanceRichard
· “Next Time He Won’t Give a Shirt” – Sim Etrias
· “Raleigh Gets the Old “Fuck Ye” From Elizabeth Yet Again” – Laureen
Crazy old lady to young clerk: Whatsa matter, you don’t like old ladies? If I was forty years younger, I would eat you up like an, like an apple. [to older clerk] C’mere gimme a kiss. C’mon gimme a kiss. What are you, scared? I’d have you laying out in my funeral parlour in a pine box. What do you think if we skinned the knish? They’ll wrap you in sheet and ship you back to Yemen. You want to ride the bull with me? You’ll decide you love America.
–Grand & Bushwick, Williamsburg
Bag man: Nice toes.
Guy: Um…thanks?
Bag man: Well, you know, so many people be wearin’ these things and they got some nasty boar feet, but you got some nice toes there. Good for you.
–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, W. 17th Street
Overheard by: A. Hender
Guido #1: Yo, girl, wassup, wassup?
Pretty Asian girl, walking briskly: I don't want your services.
Guido #1: I don't got no services. Whachu talkin bout, services? Psh!
Guido #2: Yo, you would service her.
Guido #1: Yeah, bro, I would totally service her!
–22nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ilikecandy
