Random guy: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Oh, up north. Florida.
Random guy: Wait. I thought Florida was in the Midwest.
–Subway B
Random guy: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Oh, up north. Florida.
Random guy: Wait. I thought Florida was in the Midwest.
–Subway B
[guy slips on snowy steps, falls down]Old man: Oh, are you okay?
[guy gets up, walks away]Old woman: If this were Dartmouth, they’d have salted this by now, you know.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Greg T
Cougar #1: Did you wax your asshole today?
Cougar #2: No, every other Wednesday.
–The Waverly Inn
Teen boy #1: I love the smell of the subway.
Teen boy #2: Why?
Teen boy #1: You know why.
–71st St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
40-something woman: Oh, I'm sorry.
Young dude: That's okay, but you just hit my crotch.
40-something woman: Well, did you at least enjoy it?
Young dude: Heh-heh, not really.
–L Train
Girl: Okay, so how many of the people here do you think have noticed that we’re high?
Guy: Mmmm, five of them.
Girl: There are only five people in the store.
Guy: Then… All of them.
–Lafayette
Girl: What kind of movie do you suggest?
Gay employee: Oh, a romantic comedy.
Girl: That’s gay.
Gay employee: I know!
–Lowes on Broadway
Overheard by: B
Son to mom: I have this new kid in my class and the teacher said he is autistic. Where do autistic people come from?
Mom: Autistic chickens, they ate an autistic chicken when he was younger and out he came, out and autistic.
–W Train
Mom: They had a big mansion over yonder.
Girl: In Yonkers?
Mom: No, over yonder.
Girl: Where's yonder?
–Hanson Place & Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: harley spiller
Crazy preacher guy: If you think I'm not telling the truth, fine. But on Judgement Day you will pay for all those times you didn't go to church.
Passenger: Hey, it's Easter Sunday…shouldn't you be in church?
Crazy preacher guy: Oh, shit.
–1 Train
