Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president.
–P.S. 290
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president.
–P.S. 290
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
30-something woman #1: It's only a matter of time when you start dating a guy before he asks you the question.
30-something woman #2: What question?
30-something woman #1: C'mon, the thing that every guy asks for in bed.
30-something woman #2: Ooooooohhhh, anal sex.
30-something woman #1: That's the question!
–E Train to Queens
Overheard by: butt, of course
Headline by: Brian Costlow
Runners-Up:
· “Alex, I’ll Take “Things That Will Never Happen” for $100″ – The Trayster
· “Gotta Stop Meeting Boyfriends at the Pray Out The Gay Sessions.” – KJM
· “I Always Keep My Strap-on in My Purse – Just in Case.” – Sodajerk
· “I Just Hope He Doesn’t Ask at a Baseball Game. Too Cliche.” – pieski
· “Pooping the Question” – tech98
· “Reason #32 to Be a Lesbian” – Trey Jackson
Professor: How many countries are there in the world?
Student: Seven. (silence, then some laughter)
–NYU
Friend #1: Wow, whatcha got in the bag?
Friend #2: Oh, these are lemon cucumbers.
Friend #1: Cool, what do you do with them?
Friend #2: I eat them!
–E 82nd & York
Overheard by: Janny
Yuppie girl #1, looking at platform: Ohmigod! Is that like a mirror over there, or are there actually other people on that side?
Yuppie girl #2: I don't get it.
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Chris H
Chubby girl on cell: Hello?! I’m getting a tattoo! What I need to know is: right butt cheek or left butt cheek?
–Elevator, Sulzberger Hall, Barnard College
Lady in cubicle on phone about daughter: She went from looking like a boy to J-Lo in three months, so she’s very busy shaking her booty — it’s raw, exposed estrogen.
–Wall Street
Man, to group of other men as thin passerby ignores them: Damn! Don’t she know it’s illegal for a black chick to have no ass?!
–2nd Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Ohiowatha
Attractive teen: My ex-boyfriend used to tell me that I couldn’t talk about anything that had to do with my ass. He was, like, anal about it and would say all the time, ‘Don’t you talk about your ass, it’s going to completely turn me off — I don’t want to hear about it.’
–2 train
Overheard by: Talia
Man on cell: I remember — we just got my rear end replaced.
–University
Overheard by: Asinine
Chick on cell: Eeyore’s butt — where is it?!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Man on cell: And she said, ‘You’re pretty cute for a garbage man,’ and then she grabbed my ass.
–Hell’s Kitchen
Overheard by: Kat
Girl #1: Wow, The Ring and The Grudge were like the scariest movies!
Girl #2: Yeah, I know!
Girl #1: Japanese people are good at scary movies like that. I wonder why?
Girl #2: Probably because of Vietnam.
–NYU
Overheard by: k
Fashionista #1: Honestly, I think he would take whatever comes his way. He just wants to get laid.
Fashionista #2: And what? She's easy?
Fashionista #1: You know those European girls. She has an open-pussy-policy.
–E 86th St
Drunk girl: So, have you heard from her?
Drunk guy: No, she’s too busy popping out fetuses. She pops out a fetus like every week!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: Cori
Girlfriend: But why did he buy two Mexican wrestling masks?
Boyfriend: I mean, probably to wear during sex.
Girlfriend: Ew, really?
Boyfriend: Well, yeah. Or to wear while beating off.
Girlfriend: Ew. Like, while looking in the mirror?
Boyfriend: No.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: aclare
