Skinny gay guy: I think I tweeted about that.
Fat girl: Can we please stop using “tweeted” unless you have, in fact, turned into a bird?
Skinny gay guy: Whatevs! I'm going inside. I have to piddle.
–Graham & Frost, Brooklyn
Skinny gay guy: I think I tweeted about that.
Fat girl: Can we please stop using “tweeted” unless you have, in fact, turned into a bird?
Skinny gay guy: Whatevs! I'm going inside. I have to piddle.
–Graham & Frost, Brooklyn
Middle-aged socialite #1: I can't believe he forgot about the annual dinner!
Middle-aged socialite #2: He didn't forget, he just isn't coming.
Middle-aged socialite #1: Why would he not come?
Middle-aged socialite #2: Stacey slept with Rob.
Middle-aged socialite #1: Whaaaaat?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Rob
Stressed fashionista to BFF: Do you know where I can get a decent elliptical machine for $600 for my apartment?
BFF: No. Have you tried Craigslist?
Stressed fashionista: Already tried Craigslist…maybe I just need a punching bag.
BFF: I know those are on Craigslist. Look under “personals” for “sub m looking for dominant f.”
–57th St & 6th Ave
Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Hipster guy: Then, she sent me all these naked pictures of herself.
Hipster chick: So what did you do?
Hipster guy: Went to McDonald's. Big Macs clear my head.
–87th & Lexington
Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Not how I wanna go
Hipster #1: They thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever done.
Hipster #2: The firemen?
Hipster #1: The girls.
–Lafayette & E 4th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Gay, complaining about relationship: I'm so tired of this…do you think love lasts forever?
Girl, obviously frustrated about being single: Fuck it, Jaimie, the real question is whether it ever starts.
–H&M, NoHo
Overheard by: Yeah I'd like to know too
Guy #1: He wouldn't stop telling me to eat the cactus, so I just broke down and did it.
Guy #2: Wow, what about the needles?
Guy #1: I put it in a blender first, dumbass.
Guy #2: Oh. So what happened?
Guy #1: I drank like three quarters of it and I threw up. A lot. Like “mother of god.”
Guy #2: Sheesh, then what?
Guy #1: I passed out for about 9 hours.
Guy #2: Awesome.
Guy #1: Yeah.
–G Train
