Little boy, pointing at a subway: Mom, what's this?
Mom: A subway.
Little boy: What does it do?
Mom: It gives you a hard landing space if you trip down the steps.
–Wall Street
Little boy, pointing at a subway: Mom, what's this?
Mom: A subway.
Little boy: What does it do?
Mom: It gives you a hard landing space if you trip down the steps.
–Wall Street
Mother: What's your favorite vegetable?
Six-year-old daughter: I love grilled asparagus with olive oil.
–Central Park West & 80th St
Overheard by: Not a yuppie
Law student #1: Are you applying for the TA position?
Law student #2: No.
Law student #1: Why not?
Law student #2: I'm not interested in helping people.
–Fordham Law School
Black thug to friend: Yo, everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk white girl: Is everyone black on Martin Luther King day?
–5th Ave & 49th St
Token booth man to teen: So you have no book bag, no ID, and no money? What grade are you in?
Teen: Eighth grade.
Token booth man: So why don't you have your books?
Teen: I spent the night at my girlfriend's.
Token booth man: So you have no book bag, no ID, no money, you're in eihgth grade,and you spent the night at your girlfriend's?
–Subway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mom in transit
Girl #1, walking past NYSC: We should be working out like them…assholes.
Girl #2: It's fine, we are doing more productive things.
Girl #1: More productive than working out? Like what?
Girl #2: Going out, drinking, eating, and shopping!
–Wall Street
Girl, as UPS truck passes: Would you rather call FedEx or UPS?
Guy: I don't mind, as long as my package gets to where it needs to be.
Girl: Where does your package need to go?
Guy: My package needs to go up in your sister in Virgina.
–Time Square
Preteen boy #1: My new girlfriend told me to meet her there after school.
Preteen boy #2: Why don't you just call her and tell her you'll be late?
Preteen boy #1: I don't have her number.
Preteen boy #2: How is she your girlfriend if you don't even have her phone number?
Preteen boy #1: Cause I kissed her on the lips and she liked it!
–L Train
Uptight, Greg-type dude: Doesn't it hurt to sit with your legs like that?
Cheerful, Dharma-type chick, in lotus position on bar stool: Nope!
Uptight, Greg-type dude, after short pause: I shall pray for you, my dear.
–St. Mark's Ale House, St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Amber Star
Starbucks employee to disheveled looking woman: Because it is a federal offense, ma'am.
Disheveled looking woman: Did you just call me a bitch?
Starbucks employee: No, I said it is a federal offense.
Disheveled looking woman: No, you called me a bitch.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Valley
