With This Ring, I Thee Wednesday One-Liner

Middle aged black woman on cell: Does your mother know we're married yet?

–Forever 21, Union Square

Overheard by: Sophie

2nd grader: See! This is what happens when a man marries another man! They get divorced!

–22nd & Lexington

Angry man to woman: They just had to get fucking married two days before fucking Christmas!

–Century 21

Overheard by: Amina

Dejected guy, slumping on stairs: Will you marry me?

–11th St & b/w University Place & Broadway

Overheard by: Alex Bailey

Guy on phone: She already said yes, so I don't have to get her a ring, right? (pause) Well, why do I have to get her a ring if she already said yes?

–18th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jessica Bergin

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Breaking Up, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Insults, Kids, Marriage, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

If I Could Grunt and Squeak and Squawk With the Wednesday One-Liners

Middle aged man: So all you gotta do is pick up a gray squirrel holding an acorn, squeeze his belly, and hear him make real squirrel chatter.

–92nd & Lexington

Latina girl on cell: Chill the fuck out! Groundhog Day isn't till like June or some shit!

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Max

Girl: I tried a lot of things before I started kicking small animals.

–15th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rijita

20-something guy to another: They cost a lot but they live forever. If you get a group of like 20 elephants, you're invincible.

–1 Train

Female student: But how else would you transport the elephant?

–34th St b/w Park & Madison Ave

Eight-year-old boy, running hellbent through playground, to friend: I could tell you about Archelon, the largest evolved turtle, but there isn't time.

–Riverdale

Overheard by: Someone else's mom

Guy on cell: It was kind of like sexually penetrating cows…

–E 55th St

Overheard by: TiffanyLyn

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Body Parts, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kick, Kids, Latinos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Store, Street, Students, The Bronx, Time, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Or Just Looking for Some Cheap Horas?

Hasidic Jew: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
20-something film student: Why, you lookin' to party?

–Washington Square Park

Posted on April 14, 2009
Celebrations/Parties, Jews, Judaism, Parks, Questions, Students, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Though I Guess I Should Stop Referring to Jersey That Way

Guy: Excuse me miss, do you know what time it is?
Girl: Uh… (checks phone) 10:06.
Guy: Thanks, I don't have a phone yet, I just got out of prison.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Megan in the Netherlands

Posted on April 14, 2009
Girls, Guys, Penn Station, Prison, Questions, Time, Weirdness

Well That Explains the Crowds

Lost tourist, complete with map and camera accessories: Hi, can you tell us which direction Chinatown is in?
New Yorker in a hurry: Fool, are you out of your mind? You're closer to the real China all the way up here!

–104th & Broadway

Overheard by: Yummmmm Dumplings

Posted on April 14, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Global Geography, Only in New York, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

These Metaphors Have Been Rampant Since the World Was Introduced to Joe the Plumber

Girl #1: You're a leaky sink of sentiment.
Girl #2: What the fuck does that mean?
Girl #1: I don't know.

–Central Park

Posted on April 14, 2009
Central Park, Girls, Insults, Questions, Stupidity, Weirdness, Words

…In the Finest Restaurant Bathrooms.

Upstate jock #1: Dude, is there anything to eat in all of Manhattan?
Upstate jock #2: People don't eat anymore. They just do lots of coke.

–Inwood Hill Park

Overheard by: Mojojon

Posted on April 13, 2009
Cocaine, Food, Jocks, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, Washington Heights and Inwood

I Knew I Used Too Much Product This Morning

30-something woman: I thought you lived in Jersey.
30-something man: Do I look like I live in Jersey?

–William St & Platt

Overheard by: Brunni

Posted on April 13, 2009
Men, NYC Geography, Physical appearance, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

And the Fact That They're Douchebags Creates Lubrication

Dude in crowded subway car, to friend he's showing around town: That's why hipsters are all so thin, so they can move easily through trains.
Friend: So, is that, like, a requirement here?
Dude: Yeah, there's a practical reason for it.

–R Train

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Posted on April 13, 2009
Diet/Weight, Friends, Guys, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Tourism, Weirdness

…Because Clearly You've Met Mine.

Urban man with bubble jacket: How do you say “animal” in Chinese? I think it's “dungkun” or “dungkuk”?
Chinese woman: You mean…husband?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Tom Fickle

Posted on April 13, 2009
Animals & Nature, Chinese, Language Barrier, Marriage, Men, Penn Station, Questions, Women, Words

Questions