Girl: Do you have any plans tonight? Maybe we can do something.
Guy: Can't…I gotta get up early tomorrow to work.
Girl: You suck nads.
Guy: Only on Tuesdays…
–54th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
Girl: Do you have any plans tonight? Maybe we can do something.
Guy: Can't…I gotta get up early tomorrow to work.
Girl: You suck nads.
Guy: Only on Tuesdays…
–54th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
Boy #1: Dude, I want a personal ball-washer.
Boy #2: That's not sexy. That shit hurts!
Boy #1: What hurts? Washing your balls does not hurt.
Boy #2: It does if you do a good job.
Boy #1: There's something wrong with you.
Boy #2: It hurts if you get a good scrub in!
Boy #1: What kind of soap do you use?
Boy #2: Zest, cuz that shit smells delicious.
–67th & 2nd
Overheard by: glad i'm not a boy
Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, do we want the Mets to win or the Yankees?
(mom ignores comment)
Boy: I think I want them both to win!
Mom: I don't think your father's going to be very happy about this.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Danielle
NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn't he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.
–Starbucks, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Big Larry
Stoner #1: Okay, so George Bush is our President, right?
Stoner #2: Yeah.
Stoner #1: If the Vice President dies, who's the President?
Stoner #2: Umm… George Washington.
(hysterical laughter)
Stoner #3: You bringing back niggas from the dead and shit.
Stoner #1: You just like my dad, we asked him who was the first President, he was like (imitates Asian accent) Oh, oh…okay, I know this, I know this… George Lincoln.
–Internet Cafe, Mott St.
Overheard by: Hugh
Guy in suit: They have been trying to figure why all the bees are disappearing, but they haven't performed any autopsies yet.
Other guy: Really? Well, aren't they disappearing because of cell phones?
Guy in suit: Why would they start disappearing now, then? Cell phones have been around for a while.
–50th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Autopsy?
20-something yuppie guy: You said your name is Demetria?
Sassy black teenager: My name is Demetriatis: Rhymes wit' goddess, cause I'm da hottes'.
20-something yuppie guy: So your name is Demetria?
–PATH Train
Girl #1: What is Dr. Phil's first name, anyway?
Girl #2: Uhhh…
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jessie
Short haired woman: You didn't see in the car?
Little girl: No, no! Tell me, tell me!
Short haired woman: Ask your mother.
Mother: It was like an elephant exploded diarrhea all over the seat.
Little girl: I wanna see! I wanna see!
–A Train
Hipster chick: He's not gay, he just wants everyone to think that.
Hipster chick friend: How do you know?
Hipster chick: He'll only suck cock in public.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
