Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Nerd: Didn’t Fidel Castro die this week?
Geek: No.
Nerd: Oh… I must have had that dream again.
–William Gibson signing, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
Headline by: mark manne
Runners-Up:
· “And Jessica Simpson Didn’t Blow You Either.” – Chuck Roast
· “Freud: Sometimes a Dream About a Cigar Is Just a Dream About a Cigar” – Vasyl
· “I Guess Rush Limaugh and I Weren’t Tied Up and Spanked by Midgets Either?” – Cru Jones
· “I Guess That’s Why the Easter Bunny Was There” – allison
· “Winney the Pooh Being Raped by Danger Mouse Was Kind Of a Tip Off” – Kit Kat
Lady suit: Did you bring that from the office?
Suit #1, holding up expensive pen: Oh, yeah, to look official. You know, for self-importance.
Suit #2: Yeah, self-esteem has been bad this week.
Lady suit: I think we need to go out drinking.
–Starbucks, 21st & 5th
Overheard by: maybe they could order a coffee liquer?
Black woman #1: Who’s that big girl in your store?
Black woman #2: [Laughs.]Black woman #1: She is really big! And she looks young, too.
Black woman #2: [Nods head.]Black woman #1: How old is she?
Black woman #2: Twenty-two.
Black woman #1: Get the fuck outta here! She is too big. She needs a transplant or something.
–L train
Overheard by: John
Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Guy selling umbrellas: Get your umbrellas! Two dollars! Get your umbrellas! Two dollars!
Customer: How much are they?
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Maggie
Headline by: waphle
Runners-Up:
· “I Mean, in Goats?” – jloubelle
· “That’s Not “Ironic” Either, Alanis.” – Janet
· “Tourists Aren’t Just for Show” – should probably doing work
· “Your First Born…And An Hour With That Old Broad On Your Left” – ae
Black boy: Damn! Yo’ jeans are tight!
Hipster: Yeah.
Black boy: Can yo’ balls breathe?
Hipster: [Scoffs.]Black girl: Rodney, why you always gotta do that? Plus, you know your ass is dirty.
–Bergen & Smith St, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Delicate grandmother to little girl: Do you need to use the ladies’ room?
Blunt father, translating: Do you need a toilet?
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Stranger guy: Sooo, you guys on a first date?
Girl, whose date just headed for the restroom: No.
Stranger guy: Good. It did not feel like one.
–83rd & 3rd
Dad: You ask too many questions!
Five-year-old son: What time is it?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aili
Headline by: Babakganoosh
Runners-Up:
· “Followed By, “Why Is the World Upsidedown? Why Is the Ground Rushing Up at Me So Fast? Where Is All My Blood Going?”” – Falling 80 stories sucks
· “If You’re Gonna Catch a Beating, You May As Well Earn It.” – Xvi
· “It’s Time To Play “Justified Child Abuse”!” – Patrick
· “Preamble to the Slaughter” – Paul Tabachneck
· “Yeah, Well, Wait ’til I Get to the Hard Ones, Like, Is It Okay to Masturbate?” – Chris
