Guy selling umbrellas: Get your umbrellas! Two dollars! Get your umbrellas! Two dollars!
Customer: How much are they?
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Maggie
Headline by: waphle
Runners-Up:
· “I Mean, in Goats?” – jloubelle
· “That’s Not “Ironic” Either, Alanis.” – Janet
· “Tourists Aren’t Just for Show” – should probably doing work
· “Your First Born…And An Hour With That Old Broad On Your Left” – ae
Black boy: Damn! Yo’ jeans are tight!
Hipster: Yeah.
Black boy: Can yo’ balls breathe?
Hipster: [Scoffs.]Black girl: Rodney, why you always gotta do that? Plus, you know your ass is dirty.
–Bergen & Smith St, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Delicate grandmother to little girl: Do you need to use the ladies’ room?
Blunt father, translating: Do you need a toilet?
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Stranger guy: Sooo, you guys on a first date?
Girl, whose date just headed for the restroom: No.
Stranger guy: Good. It did not feel like one.
–83rd & 3rd
Dad: You ask too many questions!
Five-year-old son: What time is it?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aili
Headline by: Babakganoosh
Runners-Up:
· “Followed By, “Why Is the World Upsidedown? Why Is the Ground Rushing Up at Me So Fast? Where Is All My Blood Going?”” – Falling 80 stories sucks
· “If You’re Gonna Catch a Beating, You May As Well Earn It.” – Xvi
· “It’s Time To Play “Justified Child Abuse”!” – Patrick
· “Preamble to the Slaughter” – Paul Tabachneck
· “Yeah, Well, Wait ’til I Get to the Hard Ones, Like, Is It Okay to Masturbate?” – Chris
Lady #1: How’s Aunt Beth* doing?
Lady #2: Good. She needs a makeover.
Lady #1: A makeover?
Lady #2: Yeah, she lost all that weight.
Lady #1: Ohhh — an extreme makeover.
Lady #2: Yeah.
–V train
MTA worker, holding bucket: Hey! Buddy, did you take a shit over there by that machine?
Hobo, laughing: Not yet!
–A/C/E/L station, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: JayBee
Suit #1: We don’t know where we’re going… Keep going straight?
Suit #2: We’ll figure something out…
Suit #1, two stops later: You want to get off, or go one more?
Suit #2: Let’s keep going — roll the dice.
–F train
Overheard by: Xavier
NYU chick #1: So, is he dead?
NYU chick #2: Well, he wakes up, but… you know…
–Brown Building Lab, NYU
Young girl with Texan accent #1: What’s Soho?
Young girl with Texan accent #2: Oh, that’s like where they have all the discount shopping places.
–R train
Headline by: dan
Runners-Up:
· “Bush Twins…….Activate!” – stephie
· “In Texas, We Call It Mexico…” – Michael Haigh
· “There’s a Wal-Mart in SoHo?” – Chuckles
· “They Were Disappointed with DUMBO, Too.” – nick
