What About Those of Us Who Don’t Like Fleas?

Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: cathy hannan

Posted on June 25, 2006
Dads, Kids, Park Slope, Questions

If She Says a Swingline Stapler, Hire Her. Or Smack Her.

Girl: I have another interview at 3:00 today.
Guy: Didn’t you already hire someone?
Girl: Yeah, but this is that Harvard grad. I want to know which office supply she would be.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Peter H

Posted on June 24, 2006
Coworkers, Jobs & Careers, Madison Square Garden, Questions

Both, Plus a Touch of LaToya Jackson

Guy: I’m looking for something Onassis-like.
Salesgirl: Jackie or Ari?

–Sunglass Hut, Spring & W Broadway

Overheard by: Bette Davis Eyes

Posted on June 23, 2006
About Celebrities, Customers, Gender issues, Girls, Questions, Shopping, Store, Vendors & Street Performers

With His Girlfriend and Her Drug Dealer, As Usual

Mom: So I talked to the lawyers this morning, honey, and when school is done, we’re going to move into the Hampton house.
5-year-old son: Is Daddy coming?
Mom: No sweetie, he is going to stay in the city.

–71 Irving Place Coffee & Tea Bar

Overheard by: DBG

Posted on June 23, 2006
Bars & Clubs, Breaking Up, Kids, Moms, Questions

The Adolescent Female Hybrids Are Strangely Weepy

Husband: The male hybrids seem to want to breed but the females aren’t interested, they just sit there and make no attempt to communicate with their peer group.
Wife: Are you being condescending? I sometimes think….I feel you’re being condescending, especially when you talk about the hybrids….
Daughter starts to cry.
Husband: This is never constructive. We’ll continue this later.

–7th Ave & 9th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: I really hope they’re gardeners

Posted on May 23, 2006
Assholes, Couples, Girls, Parents, Park Slope, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Weirdness

Bet He Can’t Make a Zucchini

Kid : What kind of things do you make?
Balloon-twisting clown: Animals, minerals, vegetables. That kind of thing.

–Gramercy Street Fair, 3rd Ave

Posted on May 15, 2006
Actors, Kids, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Stupidity

I Didn’t Know There Would Be a Quiz

Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.

—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC

Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer