Boyfriend: Have you ever had a weave? Or, like, extensions?
Girlfriend: No! Do I look black to you?
–LIRR
Boyfriend: Have you ever had a weave? Or, like, extensions?
Girlfriend: No! Do I look black to you?
–LIRR
Hobo, picking up a nervous patron's martini glass: Dang, this looks good–do you mind…?
Woman: No, it's all yours, you can have it. I don't want it anymore.
Hobo, sipping, then violently spitting vodka to the ground: Lord! This taste like shit! White folks ain't got no taste for alcohol.
Woman: That's a Belvedere martini.
Hobo: Yeah, that supposed to be good?
–30th & 3rd
Overheard by: Anniemal
College chick to three pals: Last night I had a dream about non-white people.
–1 train
Overheard by: MLK-what?
Black boyfriend tying white girl’s shoe: Isn’t this racist?
–65th & Broadway
Bimbette: I can’t tell the difference between Chinese people, Japanese people, Koreans, and Asians.
–Times Square
Overheard by: me neither..
Black guy to another: So, what the Palestinians are sayin’ is how did the Jews leave black and come back white?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: FabAb
Teacher: When you break down racial groups’ IQs statistically, different races are smarter than others. So, there’s no mystery here, blacks and Latinos are at the bottom, whites and Asians are on top. Well, actually, Asians score the highest so go ahead and feel proud of yourselves.
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: LSB
Professor: I use the word ‘race,’ but it’s just a code we use for ‘African American.’
–Silver Center, Washington Square
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: So, yeah, his dick was this big (stretches fingers). I guess the rumors about black guys are true.
Girl #2: Kinda reminds me of my dad.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2, awkwardly: I was only joking!
–Broadway
Hipster guy: I had to live with some random guy that year in a room smaller than ours right now.
Hipster girl: Whoa.
Hipster guy: Yeah, he was weird. He was like some Chinese guy. But he wasn’t like really Chinese.
–L train
Drunk black woman #1: No, you gotta put cocoa butter on your legs and drink water. Water keeps your body juicy!
Drunk black woman #2: Jui-cy! Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: That’s right, water keeps you juicy… [Sees young Asian woman smiling at them] Oooh, she know what I’m talkin’ about! She exotic… She an Asian girl.
Drunk black woman #2: Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: Yeahhh… She know what I’m talkin’ about… Oh, shit, it’s our stop… Thank God, because I’m ’bout to squat down somewhere! [Both stagger off train.]
–1 train
Overheard by: amused
Son: Mom, can I go and see Santa?
Mom: You ain’t sittin’ your big black ass on some white Santa!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Confused white person
Drunk white man, pointing to random black guy: Hey, look: it's Puff Daddy!
Embarrassed daughter: Dad, that is not P. Diddy.
Drunk white man: Hey, Puff! Can I get a record deal? Hook a brother up!
–52nd & 7th
