Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here.
–Stuyvesant High School
Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here.
–Stuyvesant High School
Skinny Asian man to large black woman: You too fat!
–4 train
Overheard by: LP
Cultured concert connoisseur: I think this girl was from California. She spoke Asian and Spanish.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: ak
Hipster, sitting next to Asian women: Awesome. Asians have tiny asses!
–R train, Canal St
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Hipster chick: Asians eat the darndest things.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lesley
Asian fag hag: Of course it doesn’t sound right! I’m a girl doing gay porn!
–West Village
Overheard by: megan
Asian woman suit: I’m really just tired of being a mobster.
–Wall St & Nassau
Hobo lady to Asian-looking girl: If I speak in your language, will you give me some money? Heeeyyyaaah! Karate chop!
–44th St & Lex
Overheard by: Made my morning
Girl #1: He wasn’t even that cute. Like, not good-looking at all.
Girl #2: But you fucked him?
Girl #1: Of course, he was Puerto Rican.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jim VB
White man to another: Before he shows up, you should probably know this guy’s a top 100 digger.
Black man: What’d you call me?!
White man: Uh, I just said… We’re nerds. It means we’re nerds.
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag.
Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper.
Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet!
Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black?
Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend “I'imma steal this bitch's wallet.”
Thug: Oh.
–A Train
Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.
–Times Square
Overheard by: jason
Guy #1: I’m serious about the slightly racist comments, they go a long way in jokes.
Guy #2: You can get away with it, she’s your girlfriend.
Guy #1: Yeah if she gets really angry I just draw a penis or something saying “Hello *Jenny!” and then everything’s okay.
–Eastchester & Morris Park
Black hobo to young tourist couple with baby: Mmmmmmmmmmm… That's a nice lookin' baby! You must've done good that night… or morning. (laughs)
Father: Uh… haha… yeah.
Black hobo: I need to find me a white lady so I can make me a Barack Obama. Mmm-hmm!
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Emily
Man walking dog: Yo, take a shit right here.
–Houston & Mangin
Overheard by: How about a little to the left?
Woman to her gang-banging pug dog: Everyone can have love together!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: riana
Man to Yorkie, tugging at leash outside porn shop: You don’t want to go in there. Nothing you could use in there… Hmmm, except maybe the rubber goods.
–28th & 8th
Overheard by: Chuckell
Upset man to black lab walking sheepishly beside him: They didn’t want you in there because you’re black, and they should have the guts to say so! We should go back to that fucking place and burn it down! [Pats pooch on head.] Good girl. You’re a good girl. [They start walking away again, and man mutters to himself] Motherfuckers.
–W 4th St
NYU guy to pal: If you could pick any five girls, and one of them had to be Tom Cruise…
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Lexey
Man: If Leonard Cohen were a hamster, I’d kill him.
–Freddy’s Bar, Brooklyn
Hobo: Donald Trump is my cousin, but he doesn’t know it because I came out black.
–Museum Mile
Teen girl on cell: Hey, I just read that Brad and Angelina decided to adopt their next kid from Vietnam. You totally have a shot… No, seriously, you should apply. I mean, I guess you’d have to try out and stuff, but it’d so be worth it.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Whitehall St
Skinny black goth girl: Am I gay, or am I Paris Hilton?!
–Cardozo High School
MTA elevator operator to another: You don’t have to be forgiven. Clint Eastwood taught us that.
–1 train station elevator, 168th St
Overheard by: martin gehrke
Guy on cell in line: Yeah, she’s messing around with Michael Jordan and shit! You do not want your lady messing around with Michael Jordan!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: dutchman
