Shopper #1: I’ve never bought yogurt before. I don’t know what to get. What does fat free mean?
Shopper #2: You know, its free… of fat.
Shopper #1: Oh, OK.
–Grocery, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Super Mike
Shopper #1: I’ve never bought yogurt before. I don’t know what to get. What does fat free mean?
Shopper #2: You know, its free… of fat.
Shopper #1: Oh, OK.
–Grocery, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Super Mike
Tourist lady #1, holding dress: Hmmm… I think I’m going to get the red one because it’s more Asian than the other ones. Right?
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, red is definitely more Asian.
–Souvenir shop, Mott St
Overheard by: Sannie
Customer: You got anything for a model in here? My niece is a model, and I gotta get her something for her birthday!
Salesgirl: Yes, ma’am, we have some dresses over here.
Customer: ‘Cause she’s a model, and I gotta get her something… [holding up a scarf] is this good for a model?
Salesgirl: Well, yes, do you think she’d like those colors?
Customer: Oh, I don’t know! Who knows what these models want anyway! Do you have a knife?
Salesgirl: What?
Customer: A knife! A knife! So I can cut this open! [Produces large block of orange cheese from her coat]Salesgirl: Um, ma’am, there’s no eating in the store.
Customer: I know that! I’m not gonna eat it! I just want to open it! Jesus!
Salesgirl: Let me get my manager.
–Pookie and Sebastian, 36th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jenna Blackburn
Black guy #1: Man, we shoulda gone to the Target in Queens!
Black guy #2: Yeah! That’s where all the white people go!
–Target, Inwood
Overheard by: amused white girl
Chick #1: You know what today is a perfect day for?
Chick #2: Shopping?
Chick #1: No. Gaelic football!
–87th & 2nd
Woman on cell: When you assume, you make an ass of yourself.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
Hipster: Yo, what’s up with Filene’s Basement? That shit’s on the top floor!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Tourist: Is that the Enron building?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Robyn
Tourist to security guard: Are these all originals?
–Impressionist Gallery, the Met
Overheard by: j-diddy
Female tourist: I could never live in Central America because I’d miss the ocean.
–Restaurant bathroom, Little Italy
Overheard by: Olia
Girl looking at subway map: What about that thing, that star–“You are here”? They don’t have that?
–(Moving) uptown 1 train, 59th St
Overheard by: Jo
White hipster girl: Is black semen black?
–86th & Park
Ghetto Girl: I wonder how come you don’t see more men here…
Gangsta #1: Shit, ’cause they ain’t got patience for this shit. I been here for four hours!
Gangsta #2: Yo nigga, that’s why I go shopping.
–Planned Parenthood waiting room, Bleecker St
10-Year-Old boy, whining: But, Daaad, why not?!
Southern tourist dad: Because. And I told you before: we do not go in stores with names we can’t pronounce!
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Karith
Kid: Would you like to buy some lemonade or iced tea?
Lady: Sure, what are you planning to use the money for?
Kid: Last week we were collecting money for Israeli soldiers. This week we’re saving for a nice vacation.
–Apartment building entrance, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Julie
JAP #1: Yeah, I was only able to throw up breakfast and lunch today.
JAP#2: Damn! I hate when that happens.
–Bergdorf Goodman
