Female employee: So I think my old coworker might be a widower!
Male employee: That’s so awesome! I want to write a poem about it.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Female employee: So I think my old coworker might be a widower!
Male employee: That’s so awesome! I want to write a poem about it.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Hipster girl: I think he wanted to know if you were bisexual.
Hipster boy: Well, I prefer the term hetero-flexible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Adrienne
Pregnant woman: I’m going to have a little girl, just like you.
Little girl: Oh! How nice for you. You must be very happy.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Girl: I don’t think “Keep your legs closed” is part of Catholic mass.
–Elevator, Brooklyn Law School dorm
Guy on cell: That’s because I’m not a sinner…Well, I don’t consider that a sin.
–50th & 7th
Overheard by: Proud Sinner
Man: If hell had a bathroom, this would be it.
–LIRR bathroom, Penn Station
Passenger: This is the train to hell–and we’re in the first car!
–L train, passing 1st Ave without stopping
Overheard by: Ciara&Andrea
Girl on cell: It’s not selling your soul to the devil if it pays the rent.
–Starbucks, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: M. Nofier
Heathen: I’m worried because we’re going to Burning Man, which, you know, is not church camp.
–Rope, Myrtle between Clinton & Vanderbilt, Brooklyn
Overheard by: our lady mess
Young queer: The Jesus man touched me funny!
–36th & 6th
Overheard by: He touched me too
Shiksa, to Jewish friend wearing a chai necklace: What exactly is your necklace? I’m trying to decide if it’s an elephant or someone bending over.
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Woman: This book I’m reading says that string theory could verify how the world began!
Guy: Hello! We know how the world began. I’ve got a book you should borrow; it’s called the Bible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Male, black barrista: Venti iced coffee!
He stumbles walking to the counter.
Female, black barrista: That’s a venti Harlem shake!
–Starbucks, Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Traveler Bill
Late-20’s professional #1: Aw, I miss being a ho-bag.
Late-20’s professional #2: I know, me too. And I was so good at it!
–Starbucks, Broadway & Barclay
Overheard by: Sarah Vanderbilt
Store woman: It’s so cold in here.
Store man: It’s really not so bad.
Store woman: Well, not all of us have a protective layer of blubber to keep us warm in the winter.
–Starbucks, 60th & Broadway
Chick #1: Where’s [Suzy]?
Chick #2: She’s in Vegas.
Chick #1: She is? How’d she get there so fast?
Chick #2: I dunno. She’s fat. She can fly.
–Starbucks, 53rd & Park
