Tourist: Can you tell me where grand zero is?
Lady: You mean ground zero?
Tourist: Yes, I guess it is the same thing, okay…
Lady pointing straight ahead: Walk straight ahead. You see the big gap in the sky? There you go.
Tourist: Wait. I don’t see anything. What, its all gone already?
Lady: Are you retarded?
–Corner of Church & Reade
College meathead #1: You don’t think generally the size of the person is the size of the dick?
College meathead #2: Nah, I mean how could you prove that?
College meathead #3: Dude, why do you think babies’ dicks are so small?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
English teacher: So, have you ever gone with your class to The Met?
Bimbette art student: I don’t do things.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt (ashamed to be an art student)
Professor: So REM stands for “Rapid Eye Movement”.
Befuddled girl: Then why isn’t it called “RIM”?
–Psychology Lecture, City College
Woman tourist to chick smoking: Can I ask you a question? My husband and I are trying to see who’s right…
Chick: Ummmm…
Woman tourist: Where is the Statue of Liberty? I said midtown, but Bob thinks it’s uptown.
Chick: It’s actually all the way downtown in New York harbor…
Woman tourist, to husband: See Bob, I was right.
Chick: Umm… No… Well, whatever.
–42nd St
Overheard by: Libby
MTA employee #1: You know, it’s thought that the first vampire was actually Lilith…
MTA employee #2: You mean Frasier’s wife?
–7 Train
Overheard by: The only other person who got it.
Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.
–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side
Overheard by: blondie
College girl #1: If you believe in any god, you should really resepct all other religions, like mythology gods and shit too!
College girl #2: Who can believe mythology?! That stuff was written like, a hundred years ago!
–TGI Fridays, Times Square
Overheard by: m spot
Respectably sober hipster: So, I’m interested, what is your ethnicity?
Inebriated Asian girl: Actually, I’m drunk!
–The Levee, N3 & Berry
Overheard by: zp
Girl: I met this really hawt guy last night.
Freind: Really? What did he look like?
Girl: He was like kinda shortish but not really, and his eyes were like… Wow! And his skin was like really flesh colored.
Freind: Oh my gawd! I think I know him!
–Brodway & Wall Street
