Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Chirpy girl #1: Oh my god! They have peonies! How cute! I love peonies!
Chirpy girl #2: Me, too! Oh, wow, how cute!
French woman #1: Ooh-la-la… La pivoine! Pour le garçon?
French woman #2: Oui, oui.
Chirpy girl #1: Oh my god! It’s an Italian! I love Italians!
Chirpy girl #2: Oh, wow! Me, too! Italians are so cute!
–Farmer’s Market, Union Square
Pushing-40 nerd #1: Dude, the Matrix trilogy is like the original Star Wars trilogy for my generation.
Pushing-40 nerd #2: Whatever, man. Dude, you’re, like, 38. The original Star Wars trilogy is the Star Wars trilogy of your generation.
Pushing-40 nerd #1: Fuck you.
–Javits Center
Ghetto girl crossing against the light, as cabbie honks: Dat’s right! Dat’s right! Dat’s right! Hit me! I needs the fuckin’ money!
Brit tourist, waiting for ‘Walk’ light: Oh, how charming.
–32nd & 7th
Overheard by: Just Trying to Make My Train
Blonde: Do you have a first name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a last name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a middle name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: No.
Blonde: Well, I wanna annoy you. What’s your conformation name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: I’m Jewish.
Blonde: So?
–21st & 1st
Thugette on cell: Yeah, I’m planning on getting arrested this weekend. That’s my new thing now. Instead of going to the club and shit, I’m just going to get arrested.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Metrosexual: Oh my god! Did you hear that Paris Hilton just escaped from prison?
–Broadway & Prince
Mom eating fried chicken: I always thought Penn Station stop was named after a penitentiary…
–A train
Overheard by: Denning
Mocking cop to dude he just arrested: You’ve got jail!
–West Village
Suit #1: So, what books do you have on your retirement list to read?
Suit #2: Well, it’s a long list, but at the very top is ‘Finnegan’s Rainbow.’
–47th, between 5th & 6th
Fat woman: Where do you want to eat?
Fat man: I don’t know. I’m kind of in the mood for Pizza Hut.
Fat woman: But Wendy’s is healthier…
–14th St
Roommate #1: Work sucks. I’m so tired. I’m going to go to bed.
Roommate #2: Yeah, you should go to bed. You seem pretty sad, but not as sad as you’re going to be tomorrow morning.
Roommate #1: Yeah. Tomorrow’s going to suck.
Roommate #2: Hey, man, don’t worry. Tomorrow is going to be great! Good things are going to happen.
Roommate #1: Yeah, but not to us.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Dave
Black guy #1: Yes, well, we look alike because we’re fraternal twins.
Black guy #2: Yeah, you didn’t know we were brothers?
White guy: Everyone said you guys were brothers, but I figured they meant ‘brothas’ and not actual brothers.
Black guy #1: Oh… Okay. Hey, look, we’re at Shea.
–LIRR, Shea Stadium
