Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.
–49th & 9th
Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: Knee socks? Or any socks?
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
Neighbor #1: Do you have knee socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
–Wagner College Dorms, Staten Island
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl: Can I buy a frilly hairband, please?
Man, behind counter: How many?
Girl: One.
Man: We no have.
Girl: What's this, then? (picks up frilly hairband)
Man, looking dumb: A frilly hairband.
Girl: Exactly, so can I buy it?
Man: No.
Girl: Why not?
Man: We no have.
–Claire's Accessories
Overheard by: Kirsty Smith
Guy: Happy Birthday!
Woman in Bday hat: Happy Birthday? I’m old enough to be your fucking mother. Wait, how the fuck old are you?
Guy: 30.
Woman: OK, maybe not, but old enough to be your father’s younger sister’s kid’s mother.
–outside Comic Strip Live, UES
Conductor: I get paid whether this train moves or not. We can sit here all day, or if you want to go somewhere, stand clear of the doors.
–B train
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Conductor: If you are carrying a knapsack or large bag, please consider being searched by the police.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Kelly Wittman
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please do not contribute to panhandlers. Panhandling on the subway is illegal, and is also against the law.
–R train
Conductor: …we are told the delay is indefinite…for future reference “indefinite” does not mean the train won’t leave at all. So all those people that just got off the train and went upstairs to wait, are still waiting! And you’re on your way!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ziggy Stardust
Tourist mother: Where do you guys want to eat?
Tourist child: I don’t know.
Tourist father pointing to flashing subway entrance: Look, there’s a Subway, we can eat there!
–42nd & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Jen Chick
Ghetto girl #1: I went over there, and she's pregnant.
Ghetto girl #2, gasping: Pregnant with a *baby*?
–Q30 Bus
Overheard by: Cori
Headline by: missquirk
Runners-Up:
· “‘Cuz If It’s an Alien Again, I’m Skipping the Shower” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Depends on Whether You Ask Pro-Lifers or Pro-Choicers” – Ryan
· “I Better Go Back and Check” – Mike
· “Judging by the Bleeding Statues and Pentagrams, No” – The Least Funny Demon
· “Never Take a Roofie at the Zoo” – Nick Pollotta
· “No, Just Shoplifting Again” – Skug Skellum
· “No………She Just Likes to Pause a Lot” – clair
· “Rosemary’s Friends Saw It Coming” – asdfghjkl;
· “She Was Drunk. The Dog *Looked* Like a Dude” – Jim
· “Someone’s Seen Alien a Few Too Many Times…” – Kei
· “Well It’s Either That or the Spawn Of Satan…” – J
Hoochie teen: Well, I’m still a virgin. I only let him put it in my ass.
Friend: You know that anal sex counts as sex, right?
Hoochie teen: Are you sure?
–Times Square
