Traveler: Does this A train go near 33rd St?
Conductor: Sure. Get off at 34th St.
Traveler: Is that near 33rd St?
–A Train
Traveler: Does this A train go near 33rd St?
Conductor: Sure. Get off at 34th St.
Traveler: Is that near 33rd St?
–A Train
Guy at bar doing crossword: “The sound of a crowd.” Three letters, ending with “n.”
Hot bartender: Ummmmm.
Guy: “Din”? Is it “din”?
Hot bartender: What? Like people get together and just start saying “din din din”? I don't think so!
–The Continental
Overheard by: choking on scotch
Lady: Wow, that really sucks…
Man: Yeah, you never know how useful all your fingers are until you lose one. And you know what’s so crazy? I used to fantasize about cutting one of my fingers off before this happened.
Lady: Are you serious? Which one?
Man: I couldn’t decide…
–2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: bestbelieve
Teen girl #1: This is so, just, like, sad and depressing.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know. Do they have, like, a gift shop or something here?
–Ground Zero
Girl: I really enjoy going to movies by myself these days. Most of the guys I date, we don’t have same taste in movies.
Guy: That’s a great idea. Plus, you don’t get some weirdo trying to
“inadvertantly” place your hand on his cock.
–L train
Overheard by: Vivian
Guy: Yeah, in the early nineties the American Embassy burned down from an apparent electrical fire, and when they inspected it, they found bugs in every wall and ceiling.
Girl: Ewww… That’s disgusting. I’m never going to Russia.
Guy: No, not actual… Never mind.
–53rd St
Thug to friends: Look, whatever, but I have never found myself with a girl who has no face.
–Columbia University
Thug: Yo, I got a huge blunt in my pocket… Oh, wait, that’s my inhaler.
–Q train
Overheard by: djingo
Thug: Fuck that. Fuck that, nigga! If Bill Gates offered me 20 billion dollars to suck his cock, I’d swallow. Fuck.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: I would, too.
Thug athlete, after soccer game: You always be playin’ that shit. You play that shit here, you play that shit in basketball, you play that shit in choir…
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: this guy
Thug on cell: I don’t know where I was, but they’s Germans everywhere in this hood! They on my left, right. Damn! [Looks around anxiously] Now I know how Patton felt, son!
–14th & Driggs
Teen thug to friend: Yo, man, have you looked at a map of Manhattan? Know what that shit looks like?!
–W 79th
Overheard by: Nikki W.
Girl #1: He's a really great guy, and even if he can't help you, he's cute and has the most charming Irish accent…
Girl #2: Okay, but does he speak English?
–Hudson & Leonard
Teen girl: You know, relationships are a lot like the British government. The queen thinks she’s in charge, but the prime minister has all the power.
Teen boy: I wonder if people in the real world are subjected to this kind of conversation.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Chick: So “scatological”; that’s like, what? Like from “scattered”?
Guy: No, you know, it’s like in “scat porn”.
–China Fun, 64th & 2nd
