Hot 20-something redhead: So that’s why you barely said hello when I got back from Mexico?!
Hot 20-something blonde: Uh-huh.
Hot 20-something redhead: You were in a bad mood because your vibrator broke?!
–West Village
Hot 20-something redhead: So that’s why you barely said hello when I got back from Mexico?!
Hot 20-something blonde: Uh-huh.
Hot 20-something redhead: You were in a bad mood because your vibrator broke?!
–West Village
Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way.
–Pay phone, Cobble Hill
Hoochie teen: Well, I’m still a virgin. I only let him put it in my ass.
Friend: You know that anal sex counts as sex, right?
Hoochie teen: Are you sure?
–Times Square
Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you!
–Sephora, Spring & Broadway
Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are?
–Taco Bell, West Village
Employee pointing to wall: See the fire damage?
Tourist mom: Is this where you stash your weed?
–Cathedral of St. John the Divine
Overheard by: amused priest
Student #1: Mister, what are some jobs I could look into if I got a Math major?
Teacher: Oh, there’s lots of options! You could be an engineer… an accountant…
Student #2: … A wizard…
–Stuyvesant High School
Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
Woman: Crowded in here, huh?
Guy: Ha, we’ll be engaged by the 8th floor.
Woman: Ha.
Guy: Ready to have kids?
Woman: Ha.
Guy: I was about to say something obscene, but–
Woman: Say it.
–Silver Center elevator, Washington Square East
Overheard by: adam
Latino with kid’s bike #1: Yeah, he wants to change Father’s Day to ‘Dad Gets a Free Lap Dance Day.’ And he wants to call Halloween, uh… He wants to call it… uh… Yo, why’s it called ‘Halloween,’ anyway? What the fuck is Halloween?
Latino with kid’s bike #2: ‘Cause you know the word ‘hollow,’ like a tree is hollow? You know, and pumpkins are hollow. And ‘ween’ ’cause you can wear anything you want, like women’s clothing and shit.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: Mistah Rabbit
