Girl #1: That was really fun. We should do it again really soon.
Girl #2: Okay, great! Like when?
Girl #1: I dunno. I was just sayin’.
–13th St
Overheard by: Jordan Green
Girl #1: That was really fun. We should do it again really soon.
Girl #2: Okay, great! Like when?
Girl #1: I dunno. I was just sayin’.
–13th St
Overheard by: Jordan Green
Queer #1: What did he just say?
Queer #2: He called you maricon. It means faggot in Spanish.
Queer #1: Oh, thank God. I thought he called me Mexican. I was about to be really offended.
–Lorimer St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ray
Queer #1: Yeah, they have a book this thick with all these martinis.
Queer #2: I hate when guys order flavored martinis.
Queer #1: Oh, I was just sayin…
–Outside Vintage, 9th Ave between 50th & 51st
Overheard by: Ronnie F
Skater dude #1: I am mad smart, yo. My parents won’t even tell me my IQ. It’s so high they’re afraid to.
Skater dude #2: I seriously doubt that, man.
Skater dude #1: No, my sister’s way smart. She’s getting her Master’s degree, and my parents told me mine was higher than hers.
Skater dude #2: Dude, she could be smart but you could totally not be. It skips a generation.
Skater dude #1: Not in my family it doesn’t.
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: eiaboca
Court clerk: Your summons says you must serve on the grand jury. Why are you asking for a postponement?
Juror: 4 weeks is too much.
Court clerk: It’s too much for everyone [waves hand at other 200 potential jurors], yet somehow I don’t see everyone storming the Bastille. You’re serving.
–NY State Supreme Court, Centre St
Overheard by: TW
Chick #1: Do you have a safety pin?
Chick #2: What’s a safety pin?
Chick #1: Are you serious?
Chick #2: Yeah, I mean, what’s the difference between a safety pin and a paper clip? I know they both hold shit together, but, like, what’s the difference?
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Carly
9-year-old girl: Mommy, please can we leave? This doesn’t even make any sense! It’s stupid.
Mommy: Sweetie, it’s not supposed to make sense. It’s senseless art. They’re making fun of real art.
–Dada exhibit, MoMA
Older wife: How did you get these seats?
Older husband: I had to pinch her titties.
Older wife: That must have been fun.
Older husband: As a matter of fact, it was.
–Row D, Lyceum Theatre, 45th & Broadway
Girl #1: Does Katie’s brother say, “You wanna puke in my ass”?
Girl #2: I think he says, “house.”
Girl #1: Ooh. Oh my God, that makes so much more sense.
Girl #1 to girl #3: We are such idiots.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Metro-North conductor: If you have been on your cell phone more than 5 minutes, you are not only annoying all of the passengers around you, but have also probably started to annoy the person on the other end of the call, so hang up.
–Metro-North, Marble Hill
Guy on cell: I’m only calling because I have to walk ten blocks, and I can’t stand to be alone with my own thoughts.
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: tabubob
Queer: I could never respect someone with that ring tone!
–Duane Reade, 8th & Broadway
