Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer
Hipster guy: Well, Hitler was right, there is a lot of parking in New York.
–54th & 10th
Crazy guy: Slow down!
Bus driver: I’m stopped at a light; I can’t get much slower.
–Q60 bus
Overheard by: Ben
Guy: My dog is so racist. She is scared of black people. But she also hates the black people of dogs.
Girl: What does that even mean?
Guy: Pugs.
–33rd & 8th
Woman: Well, they can run like $400 a ticket.
Man: $400 a ticket? Christ, woman, you’re gonna make me have a baby!
–51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Morgan & Pam Bays
Girl: …so I used to buy my drugs from a guy who would keep them in his prosthetic leg.
Guy: You mean his stump? Didn’t that freak you out, having his stump all on your blow?
Girl: No.
–23rd & 9th
Overheard by: jose angel araguz
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
Little girl: You know who has a weird name?
Mom: You mean an unusual name?
Little girl: Yes. The librarian. Her name is Constance.
Mom: Oh, that’s an old name, like yours: Sadie.
Little girl: But they’re bringing it back. I hear a lot of people in the park say, “Come, Sadie!” Especially to golden retrievers. That’s why I’m begging you to get me a dog.
–D train
Chick: Yeah, this book, Lions and Witches and shit; I like to read weird shit and send it to my boyfriend in jail.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Amanda Morante
