Bitch on cell: You know what my number one pet peeve is? Intolerence!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Bitch on cell: You know what my number one pet peeve is? Intolerence!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Dude: Do you have any matches?
Shop guy: Buddy, this is a health store, I sure hope we don’t have any matches.
Dude: Oh…yeah…I guess you are right.
–Matany Health Food, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jason B.
Amherst alum: So we’re looking over the applications, and there are all these amazing kids. Won the Westinghouse, worked for the UN. And the questions: “Who do you most look up to?” “My parents, because they’re immigrants, and they taught me to work hard.” And with each of them it’s like, “in”. And then we get to this one, it’s like, “What’s a recent intellectually stimulating experience?” The answer is, “I love my dog, walking my dog.” Stuff like that. On and on, really ridiculous. And then, “Who do you most look up to?” The answer: “my parents, especially my dad. He’s the President of the United States.” And we look at each other, and Steve is like, “in.”
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Julia Mandell
Man …you better get in, nobody over 30 is allowed to walk here anymore.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Sam Cohen
Old man: It’s like crap without a toilet! Goddamn rock and roll generation! Get the fuck out of here before I shoot every last one of you!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: nj
Hipster guy: I had so many magical adventures here last summer, it’s not even funny.
–Williamsburg
Girl: Yeah, and I mean a lot of rumors about me are true, but that one isn’t.
–Union pool, Williamsburg
Manhattan girl: Ugh. Things are so slow in Brooklyn!
Manhattan boy: The bank is faster in Manhattan, stores are faster, everything is so much faster.
Manhattan girl: Right, they couldn't afford to be this slow.
Manhattan boy: Well, it's cuz the population here is less educated.
–Walgreens, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Hipster guy: Wax makes my hair too sticky, I like the mud better.
Hipster girl: I can’t believe we have sex.
–Mott & Spring
Girl: “Feeling sick? Sex can help–”
Professor lady: You haven’t had any lately, have you?
–Pace University
Guy #1: With fiction books, if someone tells you the ending, it’s like there’s no point to them. But with non-fiction, you can know exactly what’s going to happen and they’re still a joy to read.
Guy #2: Man, you really should try getting laid sometime. Stop bothering me.
–Clovis Press, Williamsburg
Overheard by: nalin
Texas girl: Oh look, y’all! It’s a half moon. That means tomorrow will be a 3/4 moon, and then the next night will be a full moon.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: andybennett
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Teenage girl #1: What are you talking about? I hate so many people!
Teenage girl #2: No you don’t!
Teenage girl #1: Yes I do!
Teenage girl #2: I always talk about how much I hate Tom and you–
Teenage girl #1: Oh, I don’t hate people I know. I only hate celebrities.
–Williamsburg
Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls.
— Williamsburg
