Back When Unicorn Hookers Roamed Times Square!

Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: Is this New York City?
Bunch of bros: Yeah, it is!
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: This ain't New York City anymore, man. You shoulda been here forty years ago!

–Union Square

Overheard by: jvdubs

Posted on March 11, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Only in New York, Questions, Strangers, Time, Union Square and East Village

At Least This One Didn't Point a Finger in My Face and Say, “You're Doomed! Doomed!!”

Lost Russian woman: Excuse me, does this stop at Pring Street?
Teenager: What? Oh, you mean “Spring Street.” Yeah. Just stay on the train.
(woman walks away)
Teenager to friend: What the fuck? That's like the third one this week! Am I like an old Russian woman magnet or something?

–N Train

Posted on February 28, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Foreigners, Friends, Insults, Names, On the Subway, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Teens

Ten Bucks Says She Goes Home and Tweets Excitedly About the Rude New Yorker

20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.

–7th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: KC

Posted on February 19, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Comebacks, Insults, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Preppies, Tourism, Tourists

…Even by New York Standards.

ASPCA volunteer: Hey, you have a moment for animals?
Busy man: Yeah… at lunch.
Onlooker: Ice cold!

–Union Square

Posted on January 23, 2010
Activists, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Animals & Nature, Comebacks, Food, Only in New York, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

…But Only Because You Go Around Calling It “N.Y.”

Drunk tourist on fire escape, yelling at 2 am: I love NY! If I move up here can I live with you?
Neighbor, yelling back: No!

–3rd St, Havemeyer

Posted on January 4, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Offers and requests, Only in New York, The Village, Tourists

Number Four: Mom Jeans?? Really?

Woman, staring at the train subway map: Excuse me, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education.
Woman: No no, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education. Number two, you look at the map. Number three, don't talk to strangers.

–Uptown NQRW

Overheard by: Knows which strangers not to talk to

Posted on December 8, 2009
Advice, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Directions, Education, Fat People, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Women

So Much for McDonald's and the Global Village

Soft spoken Greek man at McDonald's counter: Excuse me, do you have breakfast?
Large uninterested lady employee: Honey, we got all the breakfast you want. (points to pictures)
Soft spoken Greek man: Uhm… where is this breakfast?
Lady employee, getting mad: Right up here–anything you want!
Soft spoken man Greek man: So what kind of omelet are you serving today?

–La Guardia Airport

Overheard by: David

Posted on November 27, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Airports, Customers, Food, Foreigners, Junk Food & Fast Food, LaGuardia Airport, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Wishes & desires

Why We're Still in Iraq

Confused tourist: Excuse me, I want to take the red line.
Confused New Yorker: You needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: No, I got on at last stop. Want to take the red train.
Confused New Yorker: Yes, you needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: But I'm not going to that stop.
Confused New Yorker: No, you aren't.
Confused tourist: How do I get on red line?
Confused New Yorker: Help me!

–L Train