Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Mater Baiter
Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Mater Baiter
Old woman: My mother kept saying that she wants to have carpet installed over her stone floors, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. She’s incontinent, and as I always say, “carpeting and
incontinence do not belong in the same sentence!”
–Office, 66th & York
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Girl: I’ll have an everything bagel, scooped out and toasted with five egg whites and extra cheese but not too much extra cheese that it’s gooping out, just like one slice more than you normally would use. Oh, and make sure the eggs are well done.
–Pick a Bagel on Third, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Benjamin Steger
Suit on cell: …and I appreciate that. Now get out of my house before I have you arrested.
–Penn Station
Chick: I got drunk and forgot to take out my last tampon; when the doctor fished it out it was all gray and smelled like Alpo.
–6 train
Store chick: I got a high school ring, and it was the biggest regret of my life.
–NYU Professional Bookstore, LaGuardia Place
Overheard by: andrew
Chick: I can’t apologize for being a bitch…because, like, then I wouldn’t be a bitch.
–23rd & Lexington
Hobo: You got the card? You got it? We’re gonna kill ourselves. I’m gonna swim to New Jersey and they’ll drag me up onto the rocks.
–1 train
Overheard by: James Gillece
Man: Is this where we get off?
–Times Square shuttle
Suit: I read that they’re gonna be replaced by robots soon. A robot’s not gonna complain about pension.
–4 train
Overheard by: Charles
