Little boy: My favorite part of the game is when I get to kill, but you only get to kill other people in the wilderness.
–1 train
Overheard by: STD
Little boy: My favorite part of the game is when I get to kill, but you only get to kill other people in the wilderness.
–1 train
Overheard by: STD
Santa: Hey, can you reach into my backpack and hand my my wig and the Zoloft?
–52nd & 5th
Overheard by: gear baachz
Woman: It’s about an old depressed cat and her friends put her in a tire and shoot her to heaven.
–R train
Overheard by: Misha Lonergan
Guy: I don’t want to visit my miserable family unless it’s for a funeral.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Incident on 33rd St.
Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot…
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Mater Baiter
Old woman: My mother kept saying that she wants to have carpet installed over her stone floors, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. She’s incontinent, and as I always say, “carpeting and
incontinence do not belong in the same sentence!”
–Office, 66th & York
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Girl: I’ll have an everything bagel, scooped out and toasted with five egg whites and extra cheese but not too much extra cheese that it’s gooping out, just like one slice more than you normally would use. Oh, and make sure the eggs are well done.
–Pick a Bagel on Third, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Benjamin Steger
Suit on cell: …and I appreciate that. Now get out of my house before I have you arrested.
–Penn Station
Chick: I got drunk and forgot to take out my last tampon; when the doctor fished it out it was all gray and smelled like Alpo.
–6 train
