Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed!
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed!
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Hipster guy: Well, Hitler was right, there is a lot of parking in New York.
–54th & 10th
Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: d.luxxe
Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”
–L train
Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.
–Elevator, 12th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: Ray
Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.
–2 train
Overheard by: Sarah
Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?
–LaGuardia
Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.
–The Gap, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dianora
Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: Shack
Daily News guy: Osama Bin Laden in New York! Let’s get him! Saddam Hussein has escaped!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Marlon Disla
Girl: I think my mom’s a virgin.
–4 train
Overheard by: DRock
White guy on cell: You ain’t got nowhere to smoke?…You ain’t got nowhere to smoke?…You can’t smoke at your grandmother’s house?
–N train
Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson
Guy: Imagine living in the Midwest where there is no happiness.
–Metro-North train
Chick: I’m gonna beat that girl like she never went to school.
–77th & 3rd
Queer on cell: So I saw this store that was going out of business…Yeah, so I got a faith and three hopes…Or was it two faiths and three hopes?…Ha, yeah, there wasn’t any love or anything. I bet I could sell a faith to Madonna for a hundred million dollars. Like, “Here you go, this is the most religious thing ever. More than you….bitch.”…Ha, ha, yeah. “It has holy waters from all over the world. The Pope came on it.”
–New School, West 13th Street
Overheard by: jimster
