Man pushing stroller: Do we have a bottle?
Bitchy wife: No, we have my breasts.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Aaron Padwee
Headline by: Danny
Runners-Up:
· “I Can’t Beat You With Those” – Digeridude
· “I Meant for the Baby.” – thisdaydreamer
· “Shall I Preheat Them For You?” – Mike Curry
· “They’re in the Diaper Bag” – Bri
· “Well Pop a Top, Beeyotch!” – Pozo
Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the asshole got through, can the nice people go through?
–Bleecker St
Woman #1: You ever just have one of those days?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Woman #1: I’m having a whole week. I swear to god. And I just walked here from…Oh, forget it.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1: And now I can’t even find my makeup! I swear to god, if they don’t have it, I’m gonna fucking…I don’t know!…I’ll fucking kill a tourist!
Woman #2: Oh, I hope it’s not me!…Ha, ha, ha!
5 minutes later.
Woman #2: That’s her! That’s her! That’s the New Yorker who cursed at me and threatened me!
Woman #3: It’s like seeing one in their natural habitat! I can’t wait to tell everyone a real New Yorker threatened you!
Woman #2: I know! It’s awesome!
–Sephora, Broadway between 43rd & 44th
Overheard by: Non-Bitchy New Yorker
Rude famous guy: Do you know who I am?!
Waitress: No… But I know your type…
–Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: Martin
Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.
–Q train
Overheard by: Reb Stu
One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups.
–Bleecker street
Overheard by: Disco Lama
Man #1: There are no cute chicks here.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: Let’s go some place else — my wife is working overnight at the hospital.
–ESPN Zone Sports Bar, Times Square
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Two cop cars are after someone, heading downtown on Fourth Avenue, sirens going. One cop brakes abruptly and throws it into reverse and makes a backward left turn onto 86th Street, where a civilian is sitting in his car, waiting for the light to change. The cop car smashes into the front of the civilian’s car, and the cop announces on
his megaphone: Wake up, dildo!
–Bay Ridge
Dude: I mean, you don’t have to completely fall apart once your child dies.
Chick: Yeah, seriously.
–Prince St
Overheard by: Aniela
