Wheeltard: Round here I’m just an idiot, but not in Brooklyn. I’m king in my neighborhood. When I cross that bridge and they see me comin’, they know I’m king.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Girl: I don’t know who she thinks she is, but just because she’s got cancer doesn’t make her Queen Bitch.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Tony
Man on cell: I’ve got an idea. How about you go fuck yourself?…Say what? You don’t think so?
Teen girl #1: She just has this sexual vibe about her–
Teen girl #2: No, she doesn’t. She’s fat!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: brownthomas
Jerk: I love making fun of the German. I love making fun of the French, too. I’m an equal opportunity destroyer.
–D Train
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Snob chick: So then she was like, “You’re only saying that because I’m handicapped!” I hate the fucking handicap excuse.
Reverse-snob chick: But you were only saying that because she was handicapped.
Snob chick: Yeah…
–Washington Square Park
Guy: I’m domestic.
Chick: You are so not domestic.
Guy: I’m a lazy domestic.
Chick: You leave bags of garbage on the floor of your room for days at a time!
Guy: Whatever. Domesticated cows shit inside.
–111th between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee
Hispanic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fucking bitch!
Hispanic teen #2: Pshaa… Nigga please, I got like 300 friends on MySpace and you only got like 100, bitch.
Hispanic teen #1: At least I didn’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
Hispanic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
Hispanic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
Hispanic teen #2: Bitch
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bryan
Woman on cell: I feel bad about ripping the kid off, but…
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Zoe
Suit: Well, apparently I’m part psychic and part asshole.
–Union Square
Overheard by: quite the combo
Blue collar guy: I stopped giving to panhandlers 10 years ago. This guy hit me up every day at my stop and one day I gave him a sandwich and some cigarettes. I watched him and he threw the sandwich away. I went over to him and worked him over pretty bad. I dumped the trash can and took out the sandwich and then took the cigarettes away from him. Then I knocked him down again and took all the money out of his pockets. I was really mad when he threw that sandwich away. Now I never give anything to those guys.
Suit: Yep…
–1 train, Houston St
Overheard by: Amused Minnesotan
Woman on cell: You see, this is why you just can’t be nice to people. I was nice to her once, once! And now she thinks we’re friends. Like I need this!
–Bus stop near Radio City Music Hall
Yuppie on cell: I don’t give a fuck about them. As long as I’m on their will, I don’t really give a shit.
–34th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Gunita
Girl: So my grandma died last week and it sucked so bad, I had to drive all the way to Hartford on Saturday and I totally missed the huge sale at H&M.
–Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: SuziQ
