Girl, squealing: You may kiss me, I consent!
Guy: I’d rather have a dwarf chew off my balls. I hate you.
–Museum of Sex
Girl, squealing: You may kiss me, I consent!
Guy: I’d rather have a dwarf chew off my balls. I hate you.
–Museum of Sex
Dude: He’s a big dude.
Lady: Even big dudes have sensitive nuts.
–Pace University
Teen girl to cat: You’re not at all like Steven; you don’t even have no balls!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Annichen Fors
Hipster: Yeah, so he used his balls as a can-opener.
–Thompson St
Overheard by: Holly Golightly
Loud guy on cell: I’m sick of that motherfucker! I’m gonna buy him a tea and piss in it. He’s a moron. Meet me now, and you can watch me do it. I’m sick of that motherfucker! I’m gonna buy him a bagel with cream cheese and drag my sweaty balls all over it. He’s always bitchin’, ‘I’m hungry! Got anything to eat?’ Motherfucker! Eat this, motherfucker!
–AirTrain, JFK
Overheard by: Mike L.
Man on stoop: I think her balls are really sensitive.
–Christopher & 7th
Man: You can put your balls on my head anytime!
–48th St
Overheard by: Heather
Hipster chick: Do you think New Yorkers are mean, or are we just so jaded we’re not fazed by anything?
Hipster dude: I think it’s a combination of both.
Hipster chick: Because, well, my friend just found out he has testicular cancer, and he’s getting one of his balls removed on his birthday. And I thought that was hilarious. You know what else? Maybe New Yorkers are also whores — I seriously considered sleeping with him just so I could say I was the last person to see his left ball.
Hipster dude: That’s a bit soulless. But it’s also a little funny.
Hipster chick: See, really, if you think about it in the right way, everything is funny.
Hobo: You’re just a mean whore.
–Bedford & 6th St
Overheard by: Overheard in New York is based on that very concept
Teen guy on cell: Yeah, we should catch a movie. I gotta wash my balls first, though… No, that’s fine. We can go to a party, but I gotta wash my balls.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: Caryn
Headline by: Dustin
Runners-Up:
· “‘Cuz When I Party, I Go Balls Out!” – MYRock
· “…Just in Case There’s a Sack Race” – Rob
· “Can You Assist Me With the Blow Drying Process?” – Bored Beyond Belief
· “Cleanliness Is Next to the Perineum” – brazos
· “Fratboy Etiquette, in a Nutshell” – Hellespont
· “He Started Playing Billiards Just For the Double Entendres.” – j
· “How to Spot a Dedicated Golfer” – TJ
· “I Hate to Tell Him, But Crabs Isn’t Something You Can Just Wash Off…” – J.B.
· “In Case It’s a Boston Teabag Party” – slappy
· “OCDeez Nuts” – Courtney
· “Or Get a Dog and Some Peanut Butter” – Corydon
Conductor on loudspeaker: Release the doors. Release the doors now!
Crazy guy, screaming: Release my nuts on your face!
–Queens bound E train
Overheard by: I hope its not my face
Tourist girl: Oh my God! That bum, his balls are showing! I’ll give you twenty bucks if you go up to him and say, “Excuse me, sir, but your balls are hanging out.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mb
Guy: Yeah, there is this great picture of me taken a while ago. I am sitting on the couch with just my boxers on and I am all ripped and I look really good except no one pays attention to how good I look because you can see my nut sack is hanging out.
–49th & 10th
Overheard by: Grace Tydwr
Girl: Wow, look at all these vegetables and things.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: This is great! We should come here all the time.
Guy: I think my testicles are falling off.
–Union Square
Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: danie
White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.
–Office, Park Avenue
Overheard by: Peasant
Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!
–18th & 7th
Overheard by: A & J
