Frat guy #1: So how do you think you did on your history exam?
Sorostitute: I don’t want to talk about it.
Frat guy #1: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.
Frat guy #2: She thought World War II happened in the 1970s.
–NYU
Overheard by: Seriously.
Frat guy #1: So how do you think you did on your history exam?
Sorostitute: I don’t want to talk about it.
Frat guy #1: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.
Frat guy #2: She thought World War II happened in the 1970s.
–NYU
Overheard by: Seriously.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.
–G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Ian Robertson
Chick: Oh my God! I forgot I was in New York!
–Astor Place
Girl: I want a Marc Jacobs bag, and I don’t care if it’s made of baby cow!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: wants baby cow bag, too
Guy, explaining his pants: Yeah, they look gay, but they make my junk look huge.
–Midtown
Man picking up trash to woman picking up trash: How you gonna make ten dollars an hour and have people making minimum wage looking better than you?
–Madison Sq Park
Shopaholic: I know! One time I thought there was more to life than that. But then I went back to Bloomingdale’s.
–59th & Madison
Overheard by: DM Cook
Teenage girl on phone: So where are you?…So,what happened?…Not to your shoe! In the hospital!
–Central Park
Overheard by: concerned trespasser
Cougar-in-Training, looking at non-trendy partygoers: Clearly they don’t belong here.
–Rooftop party, the SoHo House
Girl #1: Dreadlocks are so dirty. How do you wash them?
Girl #2: My friend told me about this guy she knew whose dreads were so dirty that one day he found a scorpion in them.
Girl #3: Are you sure it wasn’t just lice?
Girl #2: No, it was a scorpion.
Girl #4: Well, wait, where was he from?
Girls #1, #3, and #4, together: Jamaica?
–41st & Madison
Overheard by: Scorpions are creepy
Bimbette: He’s so hot. And his chin is so sharp it could cut steel. No, wait, what’s stronger than steel?
Friend: Diamonds?
Bimbette: Yes! Diamonds! Only diamonds can cut diamonds!
Friend: Well, yeah, but lasers can cut diamonds, too.
Bimbette: Shit.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Woman #1: So, where was the World Trade Center?
Woman #2: See that empty lot across the street?
Woman #1: Oh. So is that one of the buildings that fell?
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: joy
Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Zac Stone
Chick #1: So, do you have any plans for Saturday?
Chick #2: Yeah, I think I’m gonna go get my vag waxed.
–21st St & 3rd Ave
Chick #1: I have never been in love! Never never ever! Can you believe it?
Chick #2: Really? Wow! Well, look what’s out there.
Chick #1: I know! All the good ones are married, all the cute ones are gay, and the rest look like Shrek! All I want to do is meet a really sweet nice guy whos gorgeous and musical and creative and sweet like Jack White! Oh my god, he’s a god!
Chick #2: That White Stripes guy that punched someone out?
Chick #1: Yeah, he’s my idea of a perfect guy! God I love him!
Chick #2: Look! I got chocolate!
Chick #1: Yeah! Chocolate!
–Otto’s Shrunken Head, East Village
