Black guy #1 to passing white girl: Where’d you get that nice big ass? Your mother give you that ass?
Black guy #2: Naw, man. White girl don’t wanna hear she got a big ass. Only black girls wanna hear that shit.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: DZW
Black guy #1 to passing white girl: Where’d you get that nice big ass? Your mother give you that ass?
Black guy #2: Naw, man. White girl don’t wanna hear she got a big ass. Only black girls wanna hear that shit.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: DZW
Waiter: Hey, wassup? I’m Sean. What’s your name?
Girl: Rebecca. Nice to meet you.
Waiter: And you, man?
Guy: Kwanzaa.
Waiter: Hey, by any change you are mixed with Jewish?
Guy: Er, no, everything but.
Waiter: Well…’cause, you know, I’m Jewish.
Guy: …Okay.
Waiter: Uh, ’cause you know, Kwanzaa’s a Jewish Holiday?
Girl: It is? Wow, I didn’t know that.
–Diner 24, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: enkie
Fat black girlfriend: Remember when I used to get high and see dead people in my house?
Nerdy white boyfriend: What?
–7th Ave & 1st St
Older black man (squinting at the map through bifocals): Boy, this train doesn't even *go* to Franklin Street.
Younger black man: Give me my glasses, sit down, and shut the hell up! If you were in charge, we'd be on a 5 train and lost!
–2 Train
Overheard by: 2littlewings
Black woman #1: Who you gonna vote fo’ in this election?
Black woman #2, picking her fingernails: I dunno. I just fuckin’ hate Bush. Anyone but him.
Black woman #1: I like Hillary. I think I’m gonna vote fo’ Hillary.
Black woman #2: Yeah. I mean, Obama’s cute, but I don’t care — he’s a black man. My husband’s a black man, and he don’t do shit.
Black woman #1: Mmm, I know.
–D train
Hispanic guy to another, leaving restroom: Man, it smells like white man’s shit in there.
–Trump Tower, 5th Ave
Hobo to hispanic guy on cell: Are there any white people in this town?
–Wyckoff & Troutman, Brooklyn
Overheard by: they’re coming
Woman: But it’s Aryan night…
–116th & Broadway
Hobo playing guitar: I’ve got three kids at home — I’ll take anything. I’ll take food stamps, hair weave, Chinese people’s money, change, food, weed… I’ll even take white people’s money.
–1 train
Overheard by: trooshieb
Black lady: Harlem is up and coming, but it ain’t come up yet. I need to see a few more white people jogging at six a.m. before I sign a lease above 125th.
–7 train
Black teen exiting train: Yo, you got a nice ass for a cracka.
White girl, after he's gone: Ugh, I wonder what he would have said if I were like “you got a nice face, for a negro.”
–F Train
Overheard by: i wonder too
Conductor: Everything’s running normal this weekend.
Black woman: Everything runnin’ normal this weekend? Shit, I could take this train to fuckin’… fuckin’ anywhere!
–Q train
Overheard by: office peon
Headline by: Marc
Runners-Up:
· “Alice in Wonderland, New York Style” – Anastasia Poushkareva
· “Around the Hood in Eighty Days” – ad neal
· “I Meant My Colon” – I Got Real Mail
· “Just a fuckin’ small town girl, livin’ in a fuckin’ lonely world…” – karaoke queen
· “Transfers available to up your ass and go fuck yourself.” – mark manne
· “Why Reading Rainbow and drugs don’t mix” – mike
(little Asian girl giggles and makes snorting noise)
Park Slope mom to daughter: She's making a pig noise, Charlotte! Can you show her your pig noise?
(little Asian girl snorts again)
Park Slope mom: I think she's going to hock something up.
–F Train
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Overweight black woman #1: She's just lying on the beach now, sippin' Bahama Mamas or some shit.
Overweight black woman #2: Shoot, girl. That's the life.
Overweight black woman #1: Ah, hell no. Fuck Bahama Mamas. I need me a penis, alotta.
–St. Mark's Place & 1st
Overheard by: Danny
