Wednesday One-liners Need Relationship Counseling

Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch.

–82nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Rick Segall

Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Djlindee

Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex.

–Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Sarah C

Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love.

–Washington Heights

Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick?

–Times Square

Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday.

–Union Squre theatre

Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out.

–Wall Street

Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC

Posted on March 9, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Frat Boys, Guys, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sex, Suits, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

This Is Worse Than That Time He Pooped Out Those Kittens

Black girl: I can’t believe we just went to the hospital to find out that your cat has no sex.
White girl: What?
Black girl, louder: That your cat has no sex!
White girl: Oh, yeah! I can’t believe my male cat has no penis!

–3 train

Overheard by: office peon

Headline by: Garrett Berg

Runners-Up:

· “Cat: Why don’t you just announce it to the whole goddamn train!” – morgz

· “Garfield and the angry itch” – jeff

· “I think I’ll call him Neuter Gingrich” – SNA

· “The Penis Makes the Pussy” – Adam

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on March 8, 2015
Black People, Gay Man's Best Friend, Headline Contest Winners, On the Subway, White People

See? There You Go Again.

Black girl to black guy: I saw you with that girl “hahahaing” and “hohoeeing.”
Black guy: Ha ha.

–23rd & 5th

Posted on March 6, 2015
Black People, Couples, Infidelity, Laughter, Madison Square Garden

If Only We Could Convince Them to Roll Themselves in Cornflakes and Flour

Manager: My son likes white girls. I’m like, ‘Boy, don’t you know white people smell funny?! They smell like chicken when it’s wet outside!’
Coworker: Oh, yeah, they do be smellin’ weird.

–DT store, 32nd St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Tammy Scumbag

Posted on February 28, 2015
Black People, Race, Scents of the City

_UCK O__, YOU _RAZY _UNT

Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!

–Downtown 6 train

Overheard by: JR

Posted on February 28, 2015
Black People, Compliments, Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queer guys, TV, White People, Women

How Do You Know He Didn’t Go to College?

Blonde: Well, I want to visit that country where they speak African!
Redhead: Oh, you want to go to Africa to learn how to speak African? That is so cool.
Black businessman shaking his head: Africa is a continent, not a country, [sighs], and there is no language called ‘African.’

Black businessman departs at 34th Street.

Blonde: How’s he going to tell me that when we went to college and he didn’t? Plus, I heard President Bush call Africa a country in a speech.

–A train, 14th St

Overheard by: LDofHarlem

Posted on February 26, 2015
Bimbettes, Black People, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Stupidity

You Can, Too– We Really Don't Mind

Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!

–F Train